Hey Yinz!
Merry Christmas!
I went up to Pennsylvania, where I was born, for Christmas.
There happened to be a lot of drama on Christmas Eve, and it made me really anxious. I didn't have an anxiety attack like I usually do though. I tried to remain calm and I took deep breaths. I performed my relaxation techniques, which on extremely terrible occasions, do not work. Thankfully, they worked this time and I kept from having an anxiety attack.
Whenever my tics get bad or I get really anxious, I take deep breaths and think about other things. I try not to concentrate on my body and I distract myself by doing other things. This can be really hard sometimes, so it does not always work.
My psychiatrist has told me about a technique where whenever you feel the need to tic, you do the opposite of that tic. For instance, if you need to squat, then straighten your legs. I am extremely against this technique, and whenever my mom tells me to try and use it, I always tell her the same thing. IT'S A TERRIBLE TECHNIQUE.
It has apparently worked for a lot of kids with TS, but I have tried it many times and I think it is just dumb. It doesn't work for me. Plus, if you think about it, it can give you more tics. If someone with Tourettes sees someone doing repetitive actions, they may take that action and turn it into a tic. It's even worse if that someone with Tourettes has to do the repetitive action. To get to the point, if I feel the need to flex my feet, but obey the technique and point instead, pointing could become a tic also. If I repeatedly felt the need to flex, I would keep repeatedly pointing. Therefore, pointing would become a tic, flexing would stay a tic, and I would end up gaining a tic from this technique. I'm not sure how it has worked for other people. I don't like it at all.
While in PA, I had to ride in my uncle's car a lot. The backseat had absolutely no leg room, and one of my tics is straightening my legs. I got to sit up front which has leg room the whole time, except for one night when my uncle's friend came over. We didn't explain TS to him and make him sit in the back, so I had to huddle in the back with my dad and brother. We were crammed together, and whenever I had to straighten my legs, I had to go through a bit of trouble. I had to turn sideways in my seat and bring my legs up over my dad and brother's laps. I straightened my legs, then put them back down behind the driver's seat. Then about a minute or less later, I'd have to do it again. And again. And again.
It was quite frustrating.
I can start taking Driver's Ed around March. I'm still really worried I won't be able to drive. What if I get one of those old, crabby teachers and they don't have any patience with me to start with?
What will I do if I have to tic? I have to be in the car for at least two hours!
Those Driver Ed cars are kind of small. Will I have any leg room?
When I have to drive in the car, and I have to straighten my legs, what will I do? Floor it?
What about when I need to squat? Take my feet off the pedals?
When I need to blink real hard? Not look at the road?
When I have to scrunch up my arms? To clap? To rub my wrists together? Will I just take my hands off the wheel?
I don't think I'm ever going to get my license...
Yes, I am still worried about that.
I wish I could do things I'm unable to do.
My brain tells me I can't do these things, but my heart says "Go for it!"
I have ice skated and roller skated. I felt the need to point my feet and bend down all the while. They were uncomfortable experiences, but I was able to do it. Maybe one day I will be able to drive...
I was not able to be the leader that got decorated like a Christmas tree by my kindergartners during the AWANA Christmas party. I couldn't possibly stay still for that long. Sadly, I have to miss out on that every year.
We will see how it is... if I am able to drive or not.
It's stressful, but this is my life.
I don't know if I will ever get my license, but I'm going to try my hardest. I'll push through it. I'm determined to drive one day even though I have Tourettes. There are tons of things in life and many situations in which you may be told you cannot do something. I'm here to tell you to do it anyways. I am a dancer. While on stage, I am distracted and I barely tic. I am a singer. While singing, I distract myself easily and do not tic. I play guitar. I can almost get through a whole song without doing one of my hand tics. I act. I can disguise my tics on stage. I write. I don't let anyone stop me from doing the things I love. I have moderate-severe Tourette Syndrome, and I can still do these things. If you try really hard, you can do whatever you want. People with Tourettes are just like anyone else. Stick up for yourself to the bullies and move on. You can accomplish anything if you try. It may be hard, but life is hard.
Thanks for reading!
Emma<3
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
It's Raining CRAZY!
Hey everyone!
It's been such a long time... I just couldn't stay away, though!(;
Anyway, life has been EXTREMELY busy! I barely even have time to practice guitar nowadays.
Well, let's see... what has happened lately? I guess I'll rewind all the way back to Black Friday. Aunt Ronnie took me shopping because my mom didn't want to stay up all night. That was fun... Well, let's see what else... More recently, I had a chorus concert. It was really fun, but we were supposed to stay still through the whole concert.
STAY.
STILL.
Those are dirty words to a person with Tourettes.
I love to sing, and I had so much fun singing for all of the people in the crowd, but it was hard to not move.
My chorus teacher told us, "No itching, no twitching!"
Please refer to the title of this blog...
It's a bit hard to distract myself when I'm just standing still and singing. I managed to make it through the night, though. It's hard to stay standing when one of my tics is bending down. It felt really weird holding in a bunch of tics while standing there. It wasn't a good weird, though. I was able to sneak a few tics in, but I felt like I was going to explode. When your brain tells you, "Do this! Do this!", it's hard not to. That is kind of how I explain Tourettes to some of my friends. I tell them that TS is basically when your brain keeps telling you to do movements or make noises and you can't help it.
Last night, one of my friends was sitting on my couch with me watching a video when she coughed a few times.
"Oh, shoot! I have a tickle in my throat! *cough cough* It's driving me freaking crazy! *cough cough* Oh God, I have to leave the *cough* room!"
I chuckled and told her, "Welcome to the life of Tourettes! I get tickles like that all over my body and they don't go away!"
"Oh God, I'd hate that!" she told me.
She didn't have Tourettes though, she just had a strange tickle in her throat that was making her cough.
The day after Thanksgiving- after Black Friday shopping of course, my dad took me to go dirtbike at a friend's house.
We had to take my dad's friend's truck so that we could fit all of the bikes in it. I took a picture of the inside of the truck where I had to sit while we drove to their house.
It's been such a long time... I just couldn't stay away, though!(;
Anyway, life has been EXTREMELY busy! I barely even have time to practice guitar nowadays.
Well, let's see... what has happened lately? I guess I'll rewind all the way back to Black Friday. Aunt Ronnie took me shopping because my mom didn't want to stay up all night. That was fun... Well, let's see what else... More recently, I had a chorus concert. It was really fun, but we were supposed to stay still through the whole concert.
STAY.
STILL.
Those are dirty words to a person with Tourettes.
I love to sing, and I had so much fun singing for all of the people in the crowd, but it was hard to not move.
My chorus teacher told us, "No itching, no twitching!"
Please refer to the title of this blog...
It's a bit hard to distract myself when I'm just standing still and singing. I managed to make it through the night, though. It's hard to stay standing when one of my tics is bending down. It felt really weird holding in a bunch of tics while standing there. It wasn't a good weird, though. I was able to sneak a few tics in, but I felt like I was going to explode. When your brain tells you, "Do this! Do this!", it's hard not to. That is kind of how I explain Tourettes to some of my friends. I tell them that TS is basically when your brain keeps telling you to do movements or make noises and you can't help it.
Last night, one of my friends was sitting on my couch with me watching a video when she coughed a few times.
"Oh, shoot! I have a tickle in my throat! *cough cough* It's driving me freaking crazy! *cough cough* Oh God, I have to leave the *cough* room!"
I chuckled and told her, "Welcome to the life of Tourettes! I get tickles like that all over my body and they don't go away!"
"Oh God, I'd hate that!" she told me.
She didn't have Tourettes though, she just had a strange tickle in her throat that was making her cough.
The day after Thanksgiving- after Black Friday shopping of course, my dad took me to go dirtbike at a friend's house.
We had to take my dad's friend's truck so that we could fit all of the bikes in it. I took a picture of the inside of the truck where I had to sit while we drove to their house.
If you know anything about Tourettes, you know this is a TS torture chamber!
No. Room. At. All.
Thankfully, when I got into the truck there was a bit more space than it seemed. I was able to straighten my legs, so I was happy.
Thank you all for reading, and I promise to have a more blog-worthy life soon!
I guess I probably have had a blog-worthy life, but I seem to forget things... a lot. So, I will try to make more time to blog!
Emma<3
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Q&A
Hey!
Hey yinz, I really want to do a Q&A video on YouTube about Tourettes!
Please comment on this post with any questions you have about Tourettes or email them to lifesatwitch.emma@gmail.com !!!
And, if you would like me to say your name while answering the question on the video, just tell me!
Thanks so much!
Emma<3
Hey yinz, I really want to do a Q&A video on YouTube about Tourettes!
Please comment on this post with any questions you have about Tourettes or email them to lifesatwitch.emma@gmail.com !!!
And, if you would like me to say your name while answering the question on the video, just tell me!
Thanks so much!
Emma<3
It's Been Too Long!
Hey everyone,
I'm really sorry I haven't written lately. Life has been super crazy and I've had tons of work! Plus, this week, on Monday and Tuesday, my Tourettes was REALLY acting up. On Tuesday I had to come home from school. Also, last week, I had a panic attack that lasted hours.
I promise I will write soon, there is so much to talk about!
Stay tuned!
Thanks(:
Emma<3
I'm really sorry I haven't written lately. Life has been super crazy and I've had tons of work! Plus, this week, on Monday and Tuesday, my Tourettes was REALLY acting up. On Tuesday I had to come home from school. Also, last week, I had a panic attack that lasted hours.
I promise I will write soon, there is so much to talk about!
Stay tuned!
Thanks(:
Emma<3
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Jellybeans Are Not My Favorite Food
Hey Ya'll!
So, if you haven't checked out my videos on YouTube yet, please do! I need some more people to post questions on my Life's A Twitch video, so I can do a Question & Answer episode! My YouTube username is lifesatwitchemma. Please subscribe!
Also, please like me on Facebook! There is now a page for Life's A Twitch!
Anyways, enough with the business. Let's talk about life.
Unfortunately, one of my family's dearest friends had a death in the family. Please pray for them. Their courageous, amazing son died of Brain Cancer on November 9th. He is now in God's embrace.
Last night, there was a nice get together with his family, Aunt Ronnie's family, and my family. We all had an enjoyable night and hung out for a long while.
I feel really bad talking about Tourettes, when I know that one of my friends just died of Cancer.
I'm going to somewhat paraphrase something Meredith Grey said on the most recent Grey's Anatomy.
When you describe a terrible day, you talk about when coffee was spilled on your shirt, a fight with your boss, or traffic. But, you never really describe a real terrible day.
It's terrible that their son had to die, but now he is not suffering, and he is in Heaven.
As I've said before, please pray for the family to get through this hard time.
And Thank God for your lives.
I know I will.
It's not the end of the world if your boyfriend breaks up with you, or you get in a fight with your bestfriend. Think about it. I hate when people think the world is ending just because of a very small, insignificant thing.
I even heard a girl in the locker room the other day say, "I hate this! This only happens to me!"
I could have punched her.
So, stop taking your life for granted. Please.
I'm not saying all of you do, but I would just like for people to think before they speak.
So, my story today...
Last night all the kids were going out to Jellybeans. My mom wanted to talk to Aunt Ronnie, Uncle Jermajesty, and all of her friends without me being there, so I went to Jellybeans with the kids. I was the oldest there; there were two middle schoolers, and three elementary schoolers going, including my brother. Oh yeah, and they were all guys.
And, by the way, Jellybeans is a rollerskating rink.
Ask me: Emma, can you rollerskate?
I will answer: No, my friends, I can not.
Well, I mean, I kind of can. Just not fast... or really looking like I know what I'm doing. At all.
Part of the reason I can't skate is because of my Tourettes.
See, my Tourettes hates me. It's out to get me. We aren't friends... No, no, no. Tourettes and I are not friends. Not even close.
Unfortunately, I have to keep my friends close and my enemies closer. Much, much closer. In my brain kind of closer.
Yeah, I'm not crazy, I'm talking about Tourettes.
Anyways, whenever I am doing something I really want to do- or want to try to do- my TS will get in the way.
Me: I want to rollerskate.
TS: Okay, here you go. Now, I want you to bend down, straighten your legs, point your toes. Oh, you're falling? Too bad. Suck it up. Now straighten, point, bend, flex.
While I was skating, I kept feeling the need to do the movements, but I tried to distract myself and think about other things. It was extremely uncomfortable skating around and not letting myself tic. I would go to the wall sometimes and let it out, but otherwise I was just skating on my not so merry way.
So, no more Jellybeans for me.
Plus, I almost had an anxiety attack last night. My friend was texting me and I couldn't make it somewhere that she wanted me to go, and she was talking about how I had to go and she was going to die if I couldn't. I was under a lot of pressure, and I got nauseous. I think some stomach acids burnt the back of my tongue. It wasn't very pleasant.
Hey, at least I got to make a wish on 11/11/11 at 11:11pm!
Yeah, I know. You're probably saying, "Shut up. Every freaking person is tweeting that and putting that as their statuses."
Hey, it only happens every millenium!
Thanks for reading!
Please remember to pray for my friends and check out my YouTube account!
Emma<3
So, if you haven't checked out my videos on YouTube yet, please do! I need some more people to post questions on my Life's A Twitch video, so I can do a Question & Answer episode! My YouTube username is lifesatwitchemma. Please subscribe!
Also, please like me on Facebook! There is now a page for Life's A Twitch!
Anyways, enough with the business. Let's talk about life.
Unfortunately, one of my family's dearest friends had a death in the family. Please pray for them. Their courageous, amazing son died of Brain Cancer on November 9th. He is now in God's embrace.
Last night, there was a nice get together with his family, Aunt Ronnie's family, and my family. We all had an enjoyable night and hung out for a long while.
I feel really bad talking about Tourettes, when I know that one of my friends just died of Cancer.
I'm going to somewhat paraphrase something Meredith Grey said on the most recent Grey's Anatomy.
When you describe a terrible day, you talk about when coffee was spilled on your shirt, a fight with your boss, or traffic. But, you never really describe a real terrible day.
It's terrible that their son had to die, but now he is not suffering, and he is in Heaven.
As I've said before, please pray for the family to get through this hard time.
And Thank God for your lives.
I know I will.
It's not the end of the world if your boyfriend breaks up with you, or you get in a fight with your bestfriend. Think about it. I hate when people think the world is ending just because of a very small, insignificant thing.
I even heard a girl in the locker room the other day say, "I hate this! This only happens to me!"
I could have punched her.
So, stop taking your life for granted. Please.
I'm not saying all of you do, but I would just like for people to think before they speak.
So, my story today...
Last night all the kids were going out to Jellybeans. My mom wanted to talk to Aunt Ronnie, Uncle Jermajesty, and all of her friends without me being there, so I went to Jellybeans with the kids. I was the oldest there; there were two middle schoolers, and three elementary schoolers going, including my brother. Oh yeah, and they were all guys.
And, by the way, Jellybeans is a rollerskating rink.
Ask me: Emma, can you rollerskate?
I will answer: No, my friends, I can not.
Well, I mean, I kind of can. Just not fast... or really looking like I know what I'm doing. At all.
Part of the reason I can't skate is because of my Tourettes.
See, my Tourettes hates me. It's out to get me. We aren't friends... No, no, no. Tourettes and I are not friends. Not even close.
Unfortunately, I have to keep my friends close and my enemies closer. Much, much closer. In my brain kind of closer.
Yeah, I'm not crazy, I'm talking about Tourettes.
Anyways, whenever I am doing something I really want to do- or want to try to do- my TS will get in the way.
Me: I want to rollerskate.
TS: Okay, here you go. Now, I want you to bend down, straighten your legs, point your toes. Oh, you're falling? Too bad. Suck it up. Now straighten, point, bend, flex.
While I was skating, I kept feeling the need to do the movements, but I tried to distract myself and think about other things. It was extremely uncomfortable skating around and not letting myself tic. I would go to the wall sometimes and let it out, but otherwise I was just skating on my not so merry way.
So, no more Jellybeans for me.
Plus, I almost had an anxiety attack last night. My friend was texting me and I couldn't make it somewhere that she wanted me to go, and she was talking about how I had to go and she was going to die if I couldn't. I was under a lot of pressure, and I got nauseous. I think some stomach acids burnt the back of my tongue. It wasn't very pleasant.
Hey, at least I got to make a wish on 11/11/11 at 11:11pm!
Yeah, I know. You're probably saying, "Shut up. Every freaking person is tweeting that and putting that as their statuses."
Hey, it only happens every millenium!
Thanks for reading!
Please remember to pray for my friends and check out my YouTube account!
Emma<3
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Lifesatwitchemma
Hey Yall!
Just letting you know, I did it! I made the YouTube channel! PLEASE check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/user/lifesatwitchemma?feature=mhee
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Emma<3
Just letting you know, I did it! I made the YouTube channel! PLEASE check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/user/lifesatwitchemma?feature=mhee
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Emma<3
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Drop It Like It's Hot!
Hey People!
I have not written in a while. What can I say? I'm in high school. It takes up a lot of time.
Anyways, something just happened. I thought it was slightly funny. A girl I know posted a status with some weird joke I didn't understand, but it involved Tourettes. Okay, it wasn't "slightly funny", it was just that I laughed when she spelled Tourettes wrong.
People always spell it: Turrets.
HAHAHA.
Yeah, no. We don't have some castle turret disorder or anything like that... Turrets... hehe.
Anyways, I've been pretty stressed and anxious lately. Blah blah blah, the usual. You know, that's pretty much my daily life. Part of being a teenager... plus someone with Anxiety Disorder.
Halloween has come and past! I was a pirate, matey!
Yeah. Okay, Emma. You're corny.
K. I know.
So, my squatting tic has been on the rise. Or low... Get it? I don't rise when I squat, I go low. And I said the rise because it's been worse, but rise means up, and when you squat you don't go up, and... okay, I think you get it.(;
I've been asked a lot of questions about it lately, but I understand why. I mean, it does look pretty weird if someone just squats out of nowhere. I guess I would probably ask someone why they kept squatting if I didn't know better.
I went with some friends to a haunted corn maze that also had a "Gore House". When we entered, first of all, my one friend ran out screaming. But, that's not the point. She knows we love her even though she is a huge chicken. When you enter the Gore House, you have to wait for a little bit in this one small room, because you have to take turns entering with the other people viewing the haunted house. While waiting, two of my friends and I stood linking arms in front of one of the workers. We patiently waited for him to tell us to enter the Gore House.
I bent down a few times, then he said, "Um, I have a question. Why do you keep doing that?"
"Oh, I have Tourettes," I replied politely.
"Haha, really?"
"Yeah."
"What, really?"
"Yes, really."
"Really?"
Then, one of my friends blurted, "Yes, of course! Why would we lie about something like that? Gosh."
She seemed a bit frustrated with the worker, which made me laugh.
She asked me, "Why didn't he believe us? Like, really?"
I shrugged and told her, "Well, that's the normal reaction I get from people. They always say 'Really?', 'Nuh-uh', or 'No you don't!'."
She did not seem happy with this.
I guess I am just used to people asking me. I don't like it when they do, but I have to understand that they are just curious, and I would probably do the same if I were in their position.
That reminds me of when I went to the fair with one of my best friends last month, and while walking the way to get picked up by my dad, two girls that looked our age walked behind us.
I bent down, and heard one of the girls laugh.
"Girl, did you just see that?" One of the girls asked.
"Haha, yeah, you saw that too?"
They both laughed.
Emma, inhale... exhale...
It didn't make me mad, which surprised me since I normally get a bit angered whenever people make dumb comments and laugh like that.
Oh well, they don't get it.
Oh my gosh, I don't want to sound like one of those angst filled teenagers that are always screaming, "No one gets me! No one!"
Ha. They're dumb. Always remember that someone else has probably gone through exactly what you're going through, or worse.
I am extremely grateful that I am heavily medicated for my moderate-severe Tourettes. I know some kids have families that cannot afford health care or medication. The doctors have said that it would be painful to live a day in my life if I did not take my medication. They aren't just saying that to make me take pills. I accidentally left one of my medications in Pennsylvania, and did not take it for a few days. I ended up in the emergency room. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't taken ALL of my medications for a few days. Well, I'm not going to try that out. Anyways, I had been doing two specific tics non-stop for about 52 hours straight. One of them was rolling my abs, so at least it was like doing crunches for 52 hours. That gives you some hardcore abs. It was a painful workout, though. I didn't even know that I had missed a whole week of school, since I was so drugged up in the hospital. I found out I had missed a week when I got nominated for the "Spotlight on Student" award. My teacher was giving a speech about me, and at one point said I had missed that long of school and made up all my work. At first I thought she was exaggerating so that I would have a better chance of winning the larger award, but when I got home, I asked my parents about it. It turns out I really did miss a whole week.
Point is, I know a ton of people have it harder than me. I can barely imagine how life is for them.
But, I am glad that I am strong enough to persevere through each day. I'm blessed.
Anyways, I have to go see what bribe I can have my mom set for me if I get all A's on the report card I get tomorrow. Pssst, here's a secret. I already know I have all A's! Shhh, don't tell.(;
Thanks for reading!
Emma<3
I have not written in a while. What can I say? I'm in high school. It takes up a lot of time.
Anyways, something just happened. I thought it was slightly funny. A girl I know posted a status with some weird joke I didn't understand, but it involved Tourettes. Okay, it wasn't "slightly funny", it was just that I laughed when she spelled Tourettes wrong.
People always spell it: Turrets.
HAHAHA.
Yeah, no. We don't have some castle turret disorder or anything like that... Turrets... hehe.
Anyways, I've been pretty stressed and anxious lately. Blah blah blah, the usual. You know, that's pretty much my daily life. Part of being a teenager... plus someone with Anxiety Disorder.
Halloween has come and past! I was a pirate, matey!
Yeah. Okay, Emma. You're corny.
K. I know.
So, my squatting tic has been on the rise. Or low... Get it? I don't rise when I squat, I go low. And I said the rise because it's been worse, but rise means up, and when you squat you don't go up, and... okay, I think you get it.(;
I've been asked a lot of questions about it lately, but I understand why. I mean, it does look pretty weird if someone just squats out of nowhere. I guess I would probably ask someone why they kept squatting if I didn't know better.
I went with some friends to a haunted corn maze that also had a "Gore House". When we entered, first of all, my one friend ran out screaming. But, that's not the point. She knows we love her even though she is a huge chicken. When you enter the Gore House, you have to wait for a little bit in this one small room, because you have to take turns entering with the other people viewing the haunted house. While waiting, two of my friends and I stood linking arms in front of one of the workers. We patiently waited for him to tell us to enter the Gore House.
I bent down a few times, then he said, "Um, I have a question. Why do you keep doing that?"
"Oh, I have Tourettes," I replied politely.
"Haha, really?"
"Yeah."
"What, really?"
"Yes, really."
"Really?"
Then, one of my friends blurted, "Yes, of course! Why would we lie about something like that? Gosh."
She seemed a bit frustrated with the worker, which made me laugh.
She asked me, "Why didn't he believe us? Like, really?"
I shrugged and told her, "Well, that's the normal reaction I get from people. They always say 'Really?', 'Nuh-uh', or 'No you don't!'."
She did not seem happy with this.
I guess I am just used to people asking me. I don't like it when they do, but I have to understand that they are just curious, and I would probably do the same if I were in their position.
That reminds me of when I went to the fair with one of my best friends last month, and while walking the way to get picked up by my dad, two girls that looked our age walked behind us.
I bent down, and heard one of the girls laugh.
"Girl, did you just see that?" One of the girls asked.
"Haha, yeah, you saw that too?"
They both laughed.
Emma, inhale... exhale...
It didn't make me mad, which surprised me since I normally get a bit angered whenever people make dumb comments and laugh like that.
Oh well, they don't get it.
Oh my gosh, I don't want to sound like one of those angst filled teenagers that are always screaming, "No one gets me! No one!"
Ha. They're dumb. Always remember that someone else has probably gone through exactly what you're going through, or worse.
I am extremely grateful that I am heavily medicated for my moderate-severe Tourettes. I know some kids have families that cannot afford health care or medication. The doctors have said that it would be painful to live a day in my life if I did not take my medication. They aren't just saying that to make me take pills. I accidentally left one of my medications in Pennsylvania, and did not take it for a few days. I ended up in the emergency room. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't taken ALL of my medications for a few days. Well, I'm not going to try that out. Anyways, I had been doing two specific tics non-stop for about 52 hours straight. One of them was rolling my abs, so at least it was like doing crunches for 52 hours. That gives you some hardcore abs. It was a painful workout, though. I didn't even know that I had missed a whole week of school, since I was so drugged up in the hospital. I found out I had missed a week when I got nominated for the "Spotlight on Student" award. My teacher was giving a speech about me, and at one point said I had missed that long of school and made up all my work. At first I thought she was exaggerating so that I would have a better chance of winning the larger award, but when I got home, I asked my parents about it. It turns out I really did miss a whole week.
Point is, I know a ton of people have it harder than me. I can barely imagine how life is for them.
But, I am glad that I am strong enough to persevere through each day. I'm blessed.
Anyways, I have to go see what bribe I can have my mom set for me if I get all A's on the report card I get tomorrow. Pssst, here's a secret. I already know I have all A's! Shhh, don't tell.(;
Thanks for reading!
Emma<3
Monday, October 17, 2011
I Know I Can, I Know I Can!
Hey Everyone!
Long time, no see!
Highschool has kept me really busy...
The other night, I was at a football game. It was my friends' homecoming game, and I had missed my homecoming game to go to the lake for *Holly's birthday, so I went to this one.
Yes, I do get a bit apprehensive about going to places and hanging out with people while standing up, since I have to squat all the time. One of my friend's friends whispered something about me being a whore after I bent down, but I wasn't sure what I had heard, so I asked. He had called me a whore because it looked like a slutty move. Just squatting. Yeah, great reason to call someone a whore! I mean, just the other week I got called a prude...
Anyways, I just said, "I have Tourettes..."
I know he was just joking around, but I did it a few more times, all the time trying to restrain myself, and he pulled out his wallet shouting, "Make it rain!"
I was offended, so I eventually left them to visit my other friend.
I hadn't seen *Drake, the guy I walked over to visit after my street walker experience, in a long time. He was standing with his friend *Pauly, so I scooted inbetween them. It was the first time I had formally met Pauly- I mean, I had seen him around in my middle school, but I never knew who he was. Lucky former me.
We talked a little bit, and I held on the the metal fence while I bent down.
Pauly gave the normal response: Giggle, giggle. "What was that?! Hahaha!"
Drake and I told him that I had Tourettes.
Pauly said, "Oh, that! So, do you only have it when you're on a pole?"
I thought he was joking, so I laughed, but when I saw his face he was expecting an answer.
I raised my eyebrows and replied, "Um, no."
"But, you bent down holding on to the pole," he pointed out, nodding to the metal fence I was gripping.
"Yeah," I replied, "but I still have it when I'm not holding on to a pole."
Pauly looked slightly confused. "But, what do you do when you don't have a pole?"
"Huh?"
"When you don't have a pole to hold on to?"
I was really surprised by then, since it was honestly one of the weirdest conversations I had ever had about Tourettes.
I tried to end it by saying that I had TS even when I wasn't on a pole.
In my head, I was just thinking, What the Hell?
Then, Pauly hit my nerve and said, "I love it when people with Tourettes scream obsenities! It's so funny!"
I stated that I was leaving, so I turned around, started walking away, then told him, "Bye, I don't like you."
He shouted, "Sorry!" after me, and I felt kind of bad, but he was an imbucile anyways. I didn't want to talk to him. He was stupid.
What did he expect? "Like, yeah, um, totally, bro. I just have Tourettes when I'm holding on to a pole. Heh heh, yeah, cool, right? I know, I think it's funny when peeps with the TS cuss too!"
LOL, no.
I understand he wasn't making fun of me or anything, but sometimes I just don't like to deal with dumb people. I'm not saying he's dumb because he didn't really know what TS was- which he kind of did because he knows kids that have it can say cuss words sometimes, but... TS only on a pole. Really? I don't think so.
I didn't get that mad at him, and it wasn't that big of a deal, but I've never had a conversation quite like that about Tourettes.
At least I have good friends. My buddy, *AJ, walked away with me from the guy who had tried to throw money at me earlier. I told them I was leaving, then AJ decided he was coming with me, and that he would stick with me. What a great friend.(:
Yesterday, my family and I went to a farm to do some fun activities, and one of them was horseback riding. I absolutely LOVE riding horses, but when I asked my mom if I could take a few equestrian lessons, she said no.
Because I have Tourettes.
I understand she didn't like the idea of me taking my hands off the saddle a few times during high speeds, but I can ride a dirtbike, and dirtbikes are way faster than horses. If I'm distracted from TS I can handle doing a bunch of things.
People with Tourettes can do the same stuff that other people can.
I've never really been sure about how my skills will be with driving, but look at that guy with Tourettes who is going to race a Go-Kart for twenty four hours straight and break a record to raise awareness about TS.
I am determined to be able to do anything everyone else can do.
I ride dirtbikes instead of bikes because they require more focus. Focus means thinking about one thing. A distraction from Tourette Syndrome.
I can accomplish all things when God is with me... which is always.
I have never known what it feels like to be normal.
I mean, to know what it feels like to not have to tic constantly.
And if I try to embrace a moment where I am not ticcing, I will tic.
It's really hard to explain.
I want to know what it feels like being normal before I die. I don't remember how it felt when I was four... all of those memories have either faded away or are replaced with tics while I remember them.
Tourettes supposedly makes me special. Rare. Especially since I'm a girl with Tourettes... but I want to know what it feels like to not have a little monster barking orders in my head for once.
Please donate to help to find a cure for Tourettes.
I hate living with this demon inside of me.
Go to
http://tsa-usa.org/
and donate now.(:
Emma<3
P.S. Follow me on Twitter! @emmarockin
Long time, no see!
Highschool has kept me really busy...
The other night, I was at a football game. It was my friends' homecoming game, and I had missed my homecoming game to go to the lake for *Holly's birthday, so I went to this one.
Yes, I do get a bit apprehensive about going to places and hanging out with people while standing up, since I have to squat all the time. One of my friend's friends whispered something about me being a whore after I bent down, but I wasn't sure what I had heard, so I asked. He had called me a whore because it looked like a slutty move. Just squatting. Yeah, great reason to call someone a whore! I mean, just the other week I got called a prude...
Anyways, I just said, "I have Tourettes..."
I know he was just joking around, but I did it a few more times, all the time trying to restrain myself, and he pulled out his wallet shouting, "Make it rain!"
I was offended, so I eventually left them to visit my other friend.
I hadn't seen *Drake, the guy I walked over to visit after my street walker experience, in a long time. He was standing with his friend *Pauly, so I scooted inbetween them. It was the first time I had formally met Pauly- I mean, I had seen him around in my middle school, but I never knew who he was. Lucky former me.
We talked a little bit, and I held on the the metal fence while I bent down.
Pauly gave the normal response: Giggle, giggle. "What was that?! Hahaha!"
Drake and I told him that I had Tourettes.
Pauly said, "Oh, that! So, do you only have it when you're on a pole?"
I thought he was joking, so I laughed, but when I saw his face he was expecting an answer.
I raised my eyebrows and replied, "Um, no."
"But, you bent down holding on to the pole," he pointed out, nodding to the metal fence I was gripping.
"Yeah," I replied, "but I still have it when I'm not holding on to a pole."
Pauly looked slightly confused. "But, what do you do when you don't have a pole?"
"Huh?"
"When you don't have a pole to hold on to?"
I was really surprised by then, since it was honestly one of the weirdest conversations I had ever had about Tourettes.
I tried to end it by saying that I had TS even when I wasn't on a pole.
In my head, I was just thinking, What the Hell?
Then, Pauly hit my nerve and said, "I love it when people with Tourettes scream obsenities! It's so funny!"
I stated that I was leaving, so I turned around, started walking away, then told him, "Bye, I don't like you."
He shouted, "Sorry!" after me, and I felt kind of bad, but he was an imbucile anyways. I didn't want to talk to him. He was stupid.
What did he expect? "Like, yeah, um, totally, bro. I just have Tourettes when I'm holding on to a pole. Heh heh, yeah, cool, right? I know, I think it's funny when peeps with the TS cuss too!"
LOL, no.
I understand he wasn't making fun of me or anything, but sometimes I just don't like to deal with dumb people. I'm not saying he's dumb because he didn't really know what TS was- which he kind of did because he knows kids that have it can say cuss words sometimes, but... TS only on a pole. Really? I don't think so.
I didn't get that mad at him, and it wasn't that big of a deal, but I've never had a conversation quite like that about Tourettes.
At least I have good friends. My buddy, *AJ, walked away with me from the guy who had tried to throw money at me earlier. I told them I was leaving, then AJ decided he was coming with me, and that he would stick with me. What a great friend.(:
Yesterday, my family and I went to a farm to do some fun activities, and one of them was horseback riding. I absolutely LOVE riding horses, but when I asked my mom if I could take a few equestrian lessons, she said no.
Because I have Tourettes.
I understand she didn't like the idea of me taking my hands off the saddle a few times during high speeds, but I can ride a dirtbike, and dirtbikes are way faster than horses. If I'm distracted from TS I can handle doing a bunch of things.
People with Tourettes can do the same stuff that other people can.
I've never really been sure about how my skills will be with driving, but look at that guy with Tourettes who is going to race a Go-Kart for twenty four hours straight and break a record to raise awareness about TS.
I am determined to be able to do anything everyone else can do.
I ride dirtbikes instead of bikes because they require more focus. Focus means thinking about one thing. A distraction from Tourette Syndrome.
I can accomplish all things when God is with me... which is always.
I have never known what it feels like to be normal.
I mean, to know what it feels like to not have to tic constantly.
And if I try to embrace a moment where I am not ticcing, I will tic.
It's really hard to explain.
I want to know what it feels like being normal before I die. I don't remember how it felt when I was four... all of those memories have either faded away or are replaced with tics while I remember them.
Tourettes supposedly makes me special. Rare. Especially since I'm a girl with Tourettes... but I want to know what it feels like to not have a little monster barking orders in my head for once.
Please donate to help to find a cure for Tourettes.
I hate living with this demon inside of me.
Go to
http://tsa-usa.org/
and donate now.(:
Emma<3
P.S. Follow me on Twitter! @emmarockin
Saturday, October 1, 2011
It's Been A While...
Hey!
Wow, It's been a while since I've last blogged... Honestly, there's been nothing much to blog about. I know, normally my life is so bloggable.
But, highschool has been great.
And, I've been thinking...
And thinking...
How to make a change.
But what you have to do is stop thinking and start doing. I'm planning a video about Tourettes, but I seemed to have misplaced my supplies... which is pretty stressful.
My parents have been looking at a new house, and I don't like change. It's an OCD thing. But, they said it's probably not going to happen.
I was babysitting *Bucket yesterday for *Aunt Ronnie, and we went on a walk. When I bent down, he bent down. Up, down. Up, down. He is such a cute little boy.
He asked me, "Emma, why do you have to bend down?"
I told him it was because of Tourettes, but I didn't feel like elaborating. He's three, so that's all the explanation he really needs. He kept bending down with me, which a lot of people do. My one friend used to say, "Drop it like it's hot!" everytime I bent down. Kids my age would ask if I wanted them to do it with me. Um, no... Why would I want you to do that? I know they just wanted to help me out and make it look normal, but... really? I don't expect you to drop it like it's hot with me all the time...
Anyways, that's life lately...
Thanks for reading!
Emma<3
Wow, It's been a while since I've last blogged... Honestly, there's been nothing much to blog about. I know, normally my life is so bloggable.
But, highschool has been great.
And, I've been thinking...
And thinking...
How to make a change.
But what you have to do is stop thinking and start doing. I'm planning a video about Tourettes, but I seemed to have misplaced my supplies... which is pretty stressful.
My parents have been looking at a new house, and I don't like change. It's an OCD thing. But, they said it's probably not going to happen.
I was babysitting *Bucket yesterday for *Aunt Ronnie, and we went on a walk. When I bent down, he bent down. Up, down. Up, down. He is such a cute little boy.
He asked me, "Emma, why do you have to bend down?"
I told him it was because of Tourettes, but I didn't feel like elaborating. He's three, so that's all the explanation he really needs. He kept bending down with me, which a lot of people do. My one friend used to say, "Drop it like it's hot!" everytime I bent down. Kids my age would ask if I wanted them to do it with me. Um, no... Why would I want you to do that? I know they just wanted to help me out and make it look normal, but... really? I don't expect you to drop it like it's hot with me all the time...
Anyways, that's life lately...
Thanks for reading!
Emma<3
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sing it!
Hey Yinz!
So, I just got back from a chorus meeting. It was a test grade, yada, yada.
When I got there, we had to meet in between two trailers and line up with our group (Alto, Second Soprano, First Soprano). I am a first soprano, so I lined up along with my group.
There has always been this one girl, *Lily (*name changed), who has always been strangely negative towards me and other people sometimes, but is a sophomore loved by a lot of the other chorus members, and tons of people think she's so cute. I never really thought much of her snappiness and putting people down.
One time, when the girl next to her lent me a pair of scissors, and when I was done with them, I offered them back, because I thought they belonged to her.
"Really? Pass them to the front! Is it that hard to pass scissors?" Lily exclaimed.
I always brushed off the things that she said.
They were stupid; she was stupid.
She even randomly went off insulting people and muttering remarks about them behind their backs. I just let it go. Sadly, I have no choice but to sit in front of her, since she is in my vocal group, and we all have assigned seats.
Tonight, we all lined up, and I kept bending down, because that's one of my tics.
The girl next to me said, "Why are you doing that?"
"Tourettes," I replied quickly.
Lily caught my attention, then twitched her head violently, and exclaimed, "Sh**! That's cool!" She laughed and went on, "Oh, sorry, I had to do that."
It wasn't a sincere sorry, just a joking around type of sorry...
But, I know she doesn't understand. Goodness, how many times do I say that on here? Tons.
I've always thought about moments with mean girls in high school when I was younger; what I would say... what I would do... but, right then and there, in the moment, I was highly offended, yet had nothing to say.
People started asking, "Is that true?", "Do you have Tourettes?", "You have Tourettes?", "Really?"
I just nodded.
"So, do you cuss and slap people?" an upperclassman asked.
"No," I replied.
Tears were brimming in my eyes because of what Lily had said. I was surprised, since I hadn't been feeling any extreme emotions from her ignorant comment.
Strong, Emma, I thought, Just keep strong. You are strong.
I didn't let one tear leave their ducts. Strong, strong, strong. Just. Keep. Strong.
The rest of the night was alright, even though I got a bit anxious during the meeting, but it was all fine.
By the way, I just turned 14 on the first of September.(:
Brush it off, she's not worth it, move on.
Stand up for yourself, don't let them walk over you.
Remember, Just. Keep. Strong.
Love,
Emma<3
Did You Hear That?
So, I wrote this poem a little while ago...
Did You Hear That?
Did you hear that?
Loud as thunder
Stinging your ears
Driving you to tears
Do you hear that?
Scares you
Frightens you
Louder, Louder, Louder
More and more keep coming
Constant drumming
What’s that?
Smacking sounds
Harder and harder the objects slam
Echoing off the walls
Clap, clap!
Drives you crazy
Drives me crazy
Listen, can you hear that?
It’s the girl with Tourettes
Emma O'Connell
Monday, September 5, 2011
Labor Day!
Hi People!
So... a lot has gone on lately. High school has been great, and today is Labor Day.
I wrote a poem-type thing, but it is stored on my laptop, which I am not on right now, so I will post it some other time.
So... life.
High school, as I said, has been great. There is this one girl in Chorus that irks me though. She is a sophomore and everyone loves her, but she is very negative towards me. I just don't deal with that crap.
Last weekend, Hurricane Irene came. I was at home, about to leave for a football game which was later cancelled, when my best friend, *Holly (*name changed), invited me to her lake house. It's north of where I live, so I thought, "Hey, what the heck! I can just avoid the hurricane up there!" So, I kissed my family goodbye and went to her lake house.
Boy, was I wrong.
There was a ton of wind and rain pounding down on the earth with brutal force. Holly's mom screamed when a tree came down on the power lines in front of their house. And then we lost power. Her parents pulled out the generator, Thank God, so we got to watch the news, and then a movie.
There was one phone in the house that worked, because it was hooked up to the wall. My iPhone has AT&T, so I don't get service at the lake, and Holly's phone was dead. So, I used the wall phone to call my parents.
"Hey mom! How is it down there? We have lots of rain and wind and a tree fell down right in front of the house!"
"Oh, wow! Well, we haven't seen a drop of rain. It's sunny."
Of course.
But at least I got to make origami and play boardgames with Holly, like people used to do in the old times. Ha. Boardgames. More like Boredgames.
By the way, Twister is really hard to play when a puppy is running into you 24/7.
We still had a good time though, and on Monday we went back to school. Yes, I survived my first week of high school. My birthday was on Thursday, September 1st. I got some money, and my parents bought me "Sims 3" and some clothes. Also, they ordered me a new laptop battery, which I think is an essential, not a gift. You should be able to get a laptop battery whenever you need one. But I was grateful for everything I got.
This weekend, being Labor Day weekend, I went up to Lake Gaston, which is where Holly's lake house is located. But, I went up with my *Aunt Veronica, otherwise known as "Aunt Ronnie", her husband *Uncle Jermajesty, their kids, *Bucket and *Shania, *Sha-nay-nay (AKA Missy G) and her husband *Tim, plus their two kids *Kat and *Breezer. Of course my family came up too. (*names changed)
Shania and my brother, Sam, are really good friends. Shania is 7, and Sam is 8. Shania's little brother, Bucket, is 3. I think Kat is 11, and Breezer is 8.
Anyways, we were all having fun, and the parents were inside the house, while I was outside with the kids. Sha-nay-nay and her family hadn't gotten there yet, so it was just Aunt Ronnie's family and mine. Sam was wearing one of Bucket's life vests, and Bucket kept whining to me that he wanted it back or else he would sink in the water. I kept playing with my mom's camera, taking pictures of him and the other kids. Then, Bucket ran off while I was viewing the pictures. I heard a splash, then gurgled screams. It took me a second to realize what was going on, but then I sprinted towards the deck, threw my mom's camera on a chair, and jumped into the water. Bucket had been horrified and his bright orange shirt looked like a mushroom floating in the water. His head was almost under, so I grabbed him and swam towards the ladder, which isn't as easy as it sounds. Bucket isn't exactly a baby anymore. He didn't swallow any water, so I rushed him up to his parents. I didn't think he would jump in, since he had already acknowledged the fact he would sink.
Yeah, super life saver heroic person award goes to Emma! I know, I know. Thank you. I was just really glad Bucket was safe.
Ha, yeah, wanna make fun of the Tourettes kid now that she saved a life? That reminds me, I was thinking of doing a Tourettes Girl YouTube channel to show up the Tourettes Guy. I'd make a bunch of inspirational videos, and just some things that show that even though I have Tourettes, I'm pretty normal. Although, I don't like the word normal. I always say "Never strive for normal. Be better than normal."
Later, while on the dock, everyone was discussing sleeping arrangements, and Aunt Ronnie offered to sleep with me. The house was a bit cramped for twelve people.
I rejected the offer, since I didn't want to ruin her sleep. I clap a lot during the night, because that is one of my Tourettes prime times, so I just offered to sleep with Kat and Breezer on an air mattress. It ended up Breezer laying down on the couch, and Kat with me on the mattress. Whenever I would clap, Breezer would yell at me to stop. I told her I couldn't help it since I have Tourettes, and Kat said the same thing, but Breezer kept yelling at me.
Clap, clap, clap!
Irritated screams
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you maniac!"
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you crazy person!"
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you weirdo!"
It eventually got to the point where Kat and I just ignored her whining.
I totally understand that she is only 8 and doesn't understand why I was clapping. I get it. Trust me, ever since I was five, I've come across hundreds of people who don't understand what I'm going through, and don't know how to deal with it.
I love watching TV with Holly, though. My OCD makes me ask all of these questions and she never gets mad. My parents, on the other hand, are extremely irritated by my question asking. I try really hard not to ask the questions, and sometimes I can actually hold it back and push it to the deep depths of my brain.
Anyways, the next day, I met up with Holly at Goat Island to go to her lake house. Goat Island got its name for a very literal reason. A bunch of goats inhabit it.
That night, I went to a party with Holly and her family. It was fun, but there was this twelve year old kid who was one of those non-understanders. This is why I must educate the population about Tourettes Syndrome.
We were playing football, and it hit my head, but he picked it up.
I'm not sure if I've gone over this yet, but whenever someone or something touches my head, chest, or wrist, I have to blow on whatever touched me. It's strange, I know. But, when I was younger it used to kind of be a game, which makes me wonder if I started it. If I triggered the OCD. I used to pretend that whatever touched those main arteries had my chi, which is the word for your natural energy. It's some Chinese thing. But, I would blow it up to God or something. It was strange. Maybe even then that was part of my OCD and I didn't know it at that point.
But, that's not the only time that has happened. When I was little, I also used to pretend that on one side of my mouth was a very rich family, and the other side was a very poor one, and I would even out how many bites I would take, but I would sometimes give more to the rich family, since they were rich and had a huge money vault, and if I gave all of it to the poor, then they wouldn't be poor. Sometimes, I'd give more to the poor family since they were struggling. I also would sometimes pretend there were two bright white molar towers, and every time I took a bite on one side, that side's tower would grow a bit. I kept making things equal. I'm sure I didn't give myself those parts of the OCD, but it's still a coincidence that those little games would turn into something that would affect me for the rest of my life.
Anyways, way off topic, Emma!
The twelve year old who stole the football... right. I just kind of sat still on the edge of one of the golf carts, and tried really hard not to have to go blow on the ball. Sometimes it feels like a little piece of my brain goes missing, or it drains out, and I have to get it back.
Holly tried to get it from him.
"Seriously, brah! I need that football!" she told him.
But, Holly, some other girls and I had been tackling him for the football and running away with it, so he didn't trust us. Eventually, one of the other girls gave him his hat back, which he was bargaining to trade the ball for, so he tossed Holly the ball. I blew really hard on it and threw it into the lake. This happened a few times, and then he intentionally poked me in the head even after we told him that he couldn't touch my head. I tried really hard not to get mad.
He doesn't understand, Emma. He doesn't understand. But, when someone tells you not to do something, you shouldn't do it. They might blog about it.(;
"He's trying to be funny," Holly whispered to me.
I rolled my eyes, which I seem to do a lot. He was failing miserably at being cute and funny. It was all a joke to him.
"Hey, can I have your finger real quick?" I asked without thinking.
We all giggled and I just mumbled, "Uh, never mind."
But, Holly eventually grabbed his wrist, which was balled up in a fist, so all I blew on was his knuckles, not the fingertip that touched me. Whatever. I tried hard not to do it anyways.
The party was still fun though, and had really good food. The night ended well, with Holly and I falling asleep on the couches in her garage loft.
I know. I know that you don't know. I get it. I get it that you don't get it. I understand. I understand that you don't understand.
Yeah, well you know what they say...
Life's A Twitch.
Emma<3
So... a lot has gone on lately. High school has been great, and today is Labor Day.
I wrote a poem-type thing, but it is stored on my laptop, which I am not on right now, so I will post it some other time.
So... life.
High school, as I said, has been great. There is this one girl in Chorus that irks me though. She is a sophomore and everyone loves her, but she is very negative towards me. I just don't deal with that crap.
Last weekend, Hurricane Irene came. I was at home, about to leave for a football game which was later cancelled, when my best friend, *Holly (*name changed), invited me to her lake house. It's north of where I live, so I thought, "Hey, what the heck! I can just avoid the hurricane up there!" So, I kissed my family goodbye and went to her lake house.
Boy, was I wrong.
There was a ton of wind and rain pounding down on the earth with brutal force. Holly's mom screamed when a tree came down on the power lines in front of their house. And then we lost power. Her parents pulled out the generator, Thank God, so we got to watch the news, and then a movie.
There was one phone in the house that worked, because it was hooked up to the wall. My iPhone has AT&T, so I don't get service at the lake, and Holly's phone was dead. So, I used the wall phone to call my parents.
"Hey mom! How is it down there? We have lots of rain and wind and a tree fell down right in front of the house!"
"Oh, wow! Well, we haven't seen a drop of rain. It's sunny."
Of course.
But at least I got to make origami and play boardgames with Holly, like people used to do in the old times. Ha. Boardgames. More like Boredgames.
By the way, Twister is really hard to play when a puppy is running into you 24/7.
We still had a good time though, and on Monday we went back to school. Yes, I survived my first week of high school. My birthday was on Thursday, September 1st. I got some money, and my parents bought me "Sims 3" and some clothes. Also, they ordered me a new laptop battery, which I think is an essential, not a gift. You should be able to get a laptop battery whenever you need one. But I was grateful for everything I got.
This weekend, being Labor Day weekend, I went up to Lake Gaston, which is where Holly's lake house is located. But, I went up with my *Aunt Veronica, otherwise known as "Aunt Ronnie", her husband *Uncle Jermajesty, their kids, *Bucket and *Shania, *Sha-nay-nay (AKA Missy G) and her husband *Tim, plus their two kids *Kat and *Breezer. Of course my family came up too. (*names changed)
Shania and my brother, Sam, are really good friends. Shania is 7, and Sam is 8. Shania's little brother, Bucket, is 3. I think Kat is 11, and Breezer is 8.
Anyways, we were all having fun, and the parents were inside the house, while I was outside with the kids. Sha-nay-nay and her family hadn't gotten there yet, so it was just Aunt Ronnie's family and mine. Sam was wearing one of Bucket's life vests, and Bucket kept whining to me that he wanted it back or else he would sink in the water. I kept playing with my mom's camera, taking pictures of him and the other kids. Then, Bucket ran off while I was viewing the pictures. I heard a splash, then gurgled screams. It took me a second to realize what was going on, but then I sprinted towards the deck, threw my mom's camera on a chair, and jumped into the water. Bucket had been horrified and his bright orange shirt looked like a mushroom floating in the water. His head was almost under, so I grabbed him and swam towards the ladder, which isn't as easy as it sounds. Bucket isn't exactly a baby anymore. He didn't swallow any water, so I rushed him up to his parents. I didn't think he would jump in, since he had already acknowledged the fact he would sink.
Yeah, super life saver heroic person award goes to Emma! I know, I know. Thank you. I was just really glad Bucket was safe.
Ha, yeah, wanna make fun of the Tourettes kid now that she saved a life? That reminds me, I was thinking of doing a Tourettes Girl YouTube channel to show up the Tourettes Guy. I'd make a bunch of inspirational videos, and just some things that show that even though I have Tourettes, I'm pretty normal. Although, I don't like the word normal. I always say "Never strive for normal. Be better than normal."
Later, while on the dock, everyone was discussing sleeping arrangements, and Aunt Ronnie offered to sleep with me. The house was a bit cramped for twelve people.
I rejected the offer, since I didn't want to ruin her sleep. I clap a lot during the night, because that is one of my Tourettes prime times, so I just offered to sleep with Kat and Breezer on an air mattress. It ended up Breezer laying down on the couch, and Kat with me on the mattress. Whenever I would clap, Breezer would yell at me to stop. I told her I couldn't help it since I have Tourettes, and Kat said the same thing, but Breezer kept yelling at me.
Clap, clap, clap!
Irritated screams
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you maniac!"
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you crazy person!"
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you weirdo!"
It eventually got to the point where Kat and I just ignored her whining.
I totally understand that she is only 8 and doesn't understand why I was clapping. I get it. Trust me, ever since I was five, I've come across hundreds of people who don't understand what I'm going through, and don't know how to deal with it.
I love watching TV with Holly, though. My OCD makes me ask all of these questions and she never gets mad. My parents, on the other hand, are extremely irritated by my question asking. I try really hard not to ask the questions, and sometimes I can actually hold it back and push it to the deep depths of my brain.
Anyways, the next day, I met up with Holly at Goat Island to go to her lake house. Goat Island got its name for a very literal reason. A bunch of goats inhabit it.
That night, I went to a party with Holly and her family. It was fun, but there was this twelve year old kid who was one of those non-understanders. This is why I must educate the population about Tourettes Syndrome.
We were playing football, and it hit my head, but he picked it up.
I'm not sure if I've gone over this yet, but whenever someone or something touches my head, chest, or wrist, I have to blow on whatever touched me. It's strange, I know. But, when I was younger it used to kind of be a game, which makes me wonder if I started it. If I triggered the OCD. I used to pretend that whatever touched those main arteries had my chi, which is the word for your natural energy. It's some Chinese thing. But, I would blow it up to God or something. It was strange. Maybe even then that was part of my OCD and I didn't know it at that point.
But, that's not the only time that has happened. When I was little, I also used to pretend that on one side of my mouth was a very rich family, and the other side was a very poor one, and I would even out how many bites I would take, but I would sometimes give more to the rich family, since they were rich and had a huge money vault, and if I gave all of it to the poor, then they wouldn't be poor. Sometimes, I'd give more to the poor family since they were struggling. I also would sometimes pretend there were two bright white molar towers, and every time I took a bite on one side, that side's tower would grow a bit. I kept making things equal. I'm sure I didn't give myself those parts of the OCD, but it's still a coincidence that those little games would turn into something that would affect me for the rest of my life.
Anyways, way off topic, Emma!
The twelve year old who stole the football... right. I just kind of sat still on the edge of one of the golf carts, and tried really hard not to have to go blow on the ball. Sometimes it feels like a little piece of my brain goes missing, or it drains out, and I have to get it back.
Holly tried to get it from him.
"Seriously, brah! I need that football!" she told him.
But, Holly, some other girls and I had been tackling him for the football and running away with it, so he didn't trust us. Eventually, one of the other girls gave him his hat back, which he was bargaining to trade the ball for, so he tossed Holly the ball. I blew really hard on it and threw it into the lake. This happened a few times, and then he intentionally poked me in the head even after we told him that he couldn't touch my head. I tried really hard not to get mad.
He doesn't understand, Emma. He doesn't understand. But, when someone tells you not to do something, you shouldn't do it. They might blog about it.(;
"He's trying to be funny," Holly whispered to me.
I rolled my eyes, which I seem to do a lot. He was failing miserably at being cute and funny. It was all a joke to him.
"Hey, can I have your finger real quick?" I asked without thinking.
We all giggled and I just mumbled, "Uh, never mind."
But, Holly eventually grabbed his wrist, which was balled up in a fist, so all I blew on was his knuckles, not the fingertip that touched me. Whatever. I tried hard not to do it anyways.
The party was still fun though, and had really good food. The night ended well, with Holly and I falling asleep on the couches in her garage loft.
I know. I know that you don't know. I get it. I get it that you don't get it. I understand. I understand that you don't understand.
Yeah, well you know what they say...
Life's A Twitch.
Emma<3
Friday, August 26, 2011
Kickin' it with Troy, Gabriella, and Sharpay
Hellooo Viewers!
Yesterday was my first day of high school.
It.
Is.
AWESOME.
I love it! I was really worried, but now I'm not. I know where my classes are, and I actually haven't gotten made fun of yet. Let me give you my synopsis of the past two days.
First Day!
I had the jitters in the morning since I had no idea where I was going. Before school started, people would ask me, "Are you excited for high school?"
My reply would be, "No."
Sometimes to people I don't really know that well I'd say, "Oh yeah, I guess. Excited and nervous, you know. Just school. Another year... yeah." *Polite Smile*
I know this sounds weird, but I'm really unhappy I didn't get my picture in front of my front door on the first day. We forgot. I guess I'm kind of OCD about that, and it's really bothering me. Well, you can't go back in time... yet.
So, my dad dropped me off, both of us oblivious we forgot to take my picture... and I trudged over to the front of the school. I met up with a few friends there, and we walked around a little bit. An upperclassman pointed out where my homeroom was. It is in a pod, which is across the junior parking lot, and let me tell you, juniors aren't good drivers... at all. Well, I guess they're okay, but even in Cougar Camp, some students told me that the trek to the pods is a dangerous one, and that you could probably get hit walking there. Well, I crossed the parking lot and survived. No, please. Hold your applause. My homeroom was kind of small, but at least I knew four people there already. I'm not very close to them though. Homeroom was a bit boring, we kind of just sat there and got updated schedules. The kids who didn't already get their agendas got them, and our homeroom teacher just let us talk a bit. So, I sat with my friends and we talked for almost all of homeroom, which isn't really a long time since homeroom is short.
Next, I had to go to Healthful Living. My schedule said to go to the Main Gym, so I did... and then they directed me to Trailer 2. Thankfully, my health teacher does not believe in homework. Hallelujah!
After that, I had Chorus, which thankfully is in Trailer 5, which is really close to Trailer 2. Plus, the trailers are right outside of the Main Gym, so even when I have gym, my first two classes will be really close together! Tons of students told me that the chorus teacher is a nightmare and a psycho and whatnot. But, I love her! She is amazing and really funny! Also, we get to go on a trip to Atlanta, Georgia in March and stay at a Hyatt. Then, we get to perform at some place. Plus we get to go to Six Flags and an aquarium! It is going to be so much fun! I know we are doing more on that trip, but it's just slipping my mind right now. I love chorus! It is my favorite class! Oh yeah, that's right. Real life High School Musical, ladies and gentlemen! Well, we don't really burst out in song, but I love music and plan on doing all the plays and musicals.
After that awesome class, I had lunch. I got the first lunch of the day, which I'm happy about. My chorus teacher told the upperclassmen to group with us and take us to lunch, so an upperclassman accompanied me to lunch, and when I saw my friends I said goodbye to her. Lunch was fun too. I got to sit with my friends outside in the courtyard. It was a beautiful, sunny day. After eating, me and one of my friends inspected the cafeteria. It was absolutely filled with people! I don't understand why they didn't want to eat outside, because ever since elementary school I've fantasized about having lunch outside. I don't know why, but it always seemed so cool to me.
After lunch, I had Algebra 1: Part 1. It was elementary. Not the school... but the word. I mean it was easy. That's probably because we are just starting school and they aren't going too hard on us, but my math teacher seemed pretty cool. She was nice and not extremely strict. The class wasn't too far away from the courtyard where I eat lunch. Plus, I got to sit in one of those desks I've always wanted to have class in. Yes, I have always looked forward to sitting in the desks that are connected to the chairs, have a shelf under the chair, and an arm rest. Yes, that is exciting to me. Don't judge.
My last class of the day was Honors English 1. I think the teacher may be going easy on us since we're just starting out, but it was fun. I sat behind my friend, and we had a fun time. The teacher seem really nice, and she loves her dog.
When the bell rang, I walked to the front of the school. There was a whiteboard there that told us where our buses were, so I hurried over to my bus and got driven home. The busdriver didn't take me to the correct stop, though. She was on the wrong street, but I didn't complain because it was the same stop as my middle school one. This year, it's supposed be a lot closer, exactly where my elementary school bus stop was.
But, when I got home, I got in this really terrible mood even though my day was great. I laid down on the couch and my mood just got worse and worse. I felt like it was going down, down, down. Sugar, we're goin' down, down, to another town. Yeah, that's a song. Anyways, I felt like there was a bunch of weights on the front of my body, and I felt all this pressure. But, my mood got better later and we went to Pizza Inn, my favorite pizza place. I already went to my favorite restaurant, La Rancherita, the day before, so that's why we didn't go there.
I'm pretty sure I haven't mentioned this, but at my Sweet Sixteen, La Rancherita and Pizza Inn will be catering. At my wedding, I will have a queso cheese fountain. Trust me, I will.
So, all in all, it was a great day.
Second Day!
Today was great, again.
When I walked into Chorus, my teacher was eating chocolates.
Hungarian Chocolates.
She gave one to some girl and said, "So, these are Hungarian Chocolates. I can't read Hungarian, so tell me what flavor that one is."
I spoke up, "Um, I will gladly be a taste tester sampler person."
So, she gave me one and I think it had a fig in it. It tasted alright. I kept the wrapper since it was written in Hungarian. I think it looks really cool.
Don't you?
After my amazing Chorus class, I went to lunch where I sat in the shade, which was pretty nice. Math and English were easy again.
The only times I got semi-made fun of, was twice when these kids called out, "FRESHMAN!"
It wasn't a big deal... but I guess I look like this:
Hurricane Irene is coming in, and I'm leaving really soon for the lake with my friend Megan!
Please pray for North Carolina.
Thank you,
Emma<3
Yesterday was my first day of high school.
It.
Is.
AWESOME.
I love it! I was really worried, but now I'm not. I know where my classes are, and I actually haven't gotten made fun of yet. Let me give you my synopsis of the past two days.
First Day!
I had the jitters in the morning since I had no idea where I was going. Before school started, people would ask me, "Are you excited for high school?"
My reply would be, "No."
Sometimes to people I don't really know that well I'd say, "Oh yeah, I guess. Excited and nervous, you know. Just school. Another year... yeah." *Polite Smile*
I know this sounds weird, but I'm really unhappy I didn't get my picture in front of my front door on the first day. We forgot. I guess I'm kind of OCD about that, and it's really bothering me. Well, you can't go back in time... yet.
So, my dad dropped me off, both of us oblivious we forgot to take my picture... and I trudged over to the front of the school. I met up with a few friends there, and we walked around a little bit. An upperclassman pointed out where my homeroom was. It is in a pod, which is across the junior parking lot, and let me tell you, juniors aren't good drivers... at all. Well, I guess they're okay, but even in Cougar Camp, some students told me that the trek to the pods is a dangerous one, and that you could probably get hit walking there. Well, I crossed the parking lot and survived. No, please. Hold your applause. My homeroom was kind of small, but at least I knew four people there already. I'm not very close to them though. Homeroom was a bit boring, we kind of just sat there and got updated schedules. The kids who didn't already get their agendas got them, and our homeroom teacher just let us talk a bit. So, I sat with my friends and we talked for almost all of homeroom, which isn't really a long time since homeroom is short.
Next, I had to go to Healthful Living. My schedule said to go to the Main Gym, so I did... and then they directed me to Trailer 2. Thankfully, my health teacher does not believe in homework. Hallelujah!
After that, I had Chorus, which thankfully is in Trailer 5, which is really close to Trailer 2. Plus, the trailers are right outside of the Main Gym, so even when I have gym, my first two classes will be really close together! Tons of students told me that the chorus teacher is a nightmare and a psycho and whatnot. But, I love her! She is amazing and really funny! Also, we get to go on a trip to Atlanta, Georgia in March and stay at a Hyatt. Then, we get to perform at some place. Plus we get to go to Six Flags and an aquarium! It is going to be so much fun! I know we are doing more on that trip, but it's just slipping my mind right now. I love chorus! It is my favorite class! Oh yeah, that's right. Real life High School Musical, ladies and gentlemen! Well, we don't really burst out in song, but I love music and plan on doing all the plays and musicals.
After that awesome class, I had lunch. I got the first lunch of the day, which I'm happy about. My chorus teacher told the upperclassmen to group with us and take us to lunch, so an upperclassman accompanied me to lunch, and when I saw my friends I said goodbye to her. Lunch was fun too. I got to sit with my friends outside in the courtyard. It was a beautiful, sunny day. After eating, me and one of my friends inspected the cafeteria. It was absolutely filled with people! I don't understand why they didn't want to eat outside, because ever since elementary school I've fantasized about having lunch outside. I don't know why, but it always seemed so cool to me.
After lunch, I had Algebra 1: Part 1. It was elementary. Not the school... but the word. I mean it was easy. That's probably because we are just starting school and they aren't going too hard on us, but my math teacher seemed pretty cool. She was nice and not extremely strict. The class wasn't too far away from the courtyard where I eat lunch. Plus, I got to sit in one of those desks I've always wanted to have class in. Yes, I have always looked forward to sitting in the desks that are connected to the chairs, have a shelf under the chair, and an arm rest. Yes, that is exciting to me. Don't judge.
My last class of the day was Honors English 1. I think the teacher may be going easy on us since we're just starting out, but it was fun. I sat behind my friend, and we had a fun time. The teacher seem really nice, and she loves her dog.
When the bell rang, I walked to the front of the school. There was a whiteboard there that told us where our buses were, so I hurried over to my bus and got driven home. The busdriver didn't take me to the correct stop, though. She was on the wrong street, but I didn't complain because it was the same stop as my middle school one. This year, it's supposed be a lot closer, exactly where my elementary school bus stop was.
But, when I got home, I got in this really terrible mood even though my day was great. I laid down on the couch and my mood just got worse and worse. I felt like it was going down, down, down. Sugar, we're goin' down, down, to another town. Yeah, that's a song. Anyways, I felt like there was a bunch of weights on the front of my body, and I felt all this pressure. But, my mood got better later and we went to Pizza Inn, my favorite pizza place. I already went to my favorite restaurant, La Rancherita, the day before, so that's why we didn't go there.
I'm pretty sure I haven't mentioned this, but at my Sweet Sixteen, La Rancherita and Pizza Inn will be catering. At my wedding, I will have a queso cheese fountain. Trust me, I will.
So, all in all, it was a great day.
Second Day!
Today was great, again.
When I walked into Chorus, my teacher was eating chocolates.
Hungarian Chocolates.
She gave one to some girl and said, "So, these are Hungarian Chocolates. I can't read Hungarian, so tell me what flavor that one is."
I spoke up, "Um, I will gladly be a taste tester sampler person."
So, she gave me one and I think it had a fig in it. It tasted alright. I kept the wrapper since it was written in Hungarian. I think it looks really cool.
Don't you?
The only times I got semi-made fun of, was twice when these kids called out, "FRESHMAN!"
It wasn't a big deal... but I guess I look like this:
Please pray for North Carolina.
Thank you,
Emma<3
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tic Tock
Hi.
I want to say thank you to my mom for letting me blog at this hour... 10pm.
I am going to high school in a matter of hours, and something just occurred to me that I haven't been worried about... but I am worried about right now.
Tourette Syndrome.
I've been so caught up in "Where am I going?" and "How will I know how to get to this place?" when really, my biggest worry just came to me.
How are my teachers to know what Tourettes is and how to handle it?
What if I get in trouble for ticcing in class?
What if they don't understand when I try to explain myself?
I'll probably end up clapping during class and the teacher will get annoyed.
Emma, how did you make it in the past years?
Well, my mom usually gives the guidance counselor a DVD to watch about Tourettes and also give to my other teachers to watch. She gives them a bunch of information about it each year, but this year she didn't give the DVD to my guidance counselor.
It's not her fault. Apparently my mom has to talk to some other person about it, and they were supposed to call her and set up some meeting, but has that happened? No.
So, now I'm going into high school, where not only the students will judge me and nag me about why I'm making these movements (I know they are curious and don't understand) and maybe even won't want to be around me because I'm "weird", but the teachers won't understand either.
I constantly get comments about my Tourettes. It's tiring explaining it to everyone. Sometimes people think they know what it is, but they have the wrong idea.
I know I will probably get made fun of, and maybe people won't even bother to get to know me, but I can't stand that the teachers who are supposed to be reliable adults you can count on won't understand why I clap or bend down or cough constantly and all of the other countless tics I have.
I'm so nervous.
I'm trying to pray to God, but I'm having troubles and doubts right now.
Emma<3
I want to say thank you to my mom for letting me blog at this hour... 10pm.
I am going to high school in a matter of hours, and something just occurred to me that I haven't been worried about... but I am worried about right now.
Tourette Syndrome.
I've been so caught up in "Where am I going?" and "How will I know how to get to this place?" when really, my biggest worry just came to me.
How are my teachers to know what Tourettes is and how to handle it?
What if I get in trouble for ticcing in class?
What if they don't understand when I try to explain myself?
I'll probably end up clapping during class and the teacher will get annoyed.
Emma, how did you make it in the past years?
Well, my mom usually gives the guidance counselor a DVD to watch about Tourettes and also give to my other teachers to watch. She gives them a bunch of information about it each year, but this year she didn't give the DVD to my guidance counselor.
It's not her fault. Apparently my mom has to talk to some other person about it, and they were supposed to call her and set up some meeting, but has that happened? No.
So, now I'm going into high school, where not only the students will judge me and nag me about why I'm making these movements (I know they are curious and don't understand) and maybe even won't want to be around me because I'm "weird", but the teachers won't understand either.
I constantly get comments about my Tourettes. It's tiring explaining it to everyone. Sometimes people think they know what it is, but they have the wrong idea.
I know I will probably get made fun of, and maybe people won't even bother to get to know me, but I can't stand that the teachers who are supposed to be reliable adults you can count on won't understand why I clap or bend down or cough constantly and all of the other countless tics I have.
I'm so nervous.
I'm trying to pray to God, but I'm having troubles and doubts right now.
Emma<3
The Tourettes Guy
Hello There.
I'm sure many of you have heard of the "Tourettes Guy".
He even has his own website and everything.
He makes videos with an incorrect portrayal of Tourette Syndrome, and posts them on YouTube and his website.
Other people re-post his videos and write things in the movie captions.
For instance, YouTube user Tidus067 posted "The best of tourettes guy part 2"
The caption he put for the video was "a guy with tourettes, IF YOU HAVE TOURETTES OR ARE OFFENDED BY THIS VIDEO DONT MESSAGE ME ABOUT IT AND DONT WATCH IT THEN? Part one removed by youtube... i no longer have the videos sorry"
Well then, douchebag, if you know you are going to offend people, don't post the damn video. If you want people to watch it, don't tell us not to.
There are so many imbuciles in this world.
In the Tourettes Guy videos, it just shows him using random cuss words in his sentences while talking, like "Pass me the ****ing salt!" or even pointing to a photo and saying, "Who's that ***?"
I really hate how many views the videos get. Tidus067's video got a whole 5,098,300 views. dannyj86's re-posted video, "Tourettes Guy, Best Of" has 20,435,127 views! It's ridiculous and it makes me sick.
The Tourettes Guy's username is EaglesFan98TG.
That man makes me sick.
He even had the audacity to put his YouTube channel in TSA colors.
Or maybe he didn't even know that teal represented TS. Probably not, because he's so stupid.
I don't care if he sees this blog. Go ahead, you can even show it to him for all I care. He makes very offensive videos, and I'd even say all of this to his face.
I even e-mailed the TSA about the Tourettes Guy, even though they probably already know about him since he's so famous, but the TSA never e-mailed me back.
I'm done ranting.
Teen angst...
Emma<3
I'm sure many of you have heard of the "Tourettes Guy".
He even has his own website and everything.
He makes videos with an incorrect portrayal of Tourette Syndrome, and posts them on YouTube and his website.
Other people re-post his videos and write things in the movie captions.
For instance, YouTube user Tidus067 posted "The best of tourettes guy part 2"
The caption he put for the video was "a guy with tourettes, IF YOU HAVE TOURETTES OR ARE OFFENDED BY THIS VIDEO DONT MESSAGE ME ABOUT IT AND DONT WATCH IT THEN? Part one removed by youtube... i no longer have the videos sorry"
Well then, douchebag, if you know you are going to offend people, don't post the damn video. If you want people to watch it, don't tell us not to.
There are so many imbuciles in this world.
In the Tourettes Guy videos, it just shows him using random cuss words in his sentences while talking, like "Pass me the ****ing salt!" or even pointing to a photo and saying, "Who's that ***?"
I really hate how many views the videos get. Tidus067's video got a whole 5,098,300 views. dannyj86's re-posted video, "Tourettes Guy, Best Of" has 20,435,127 views! It's ridiculous and it makes me sick.
The Tourettes Guy's username is EaglesFan98TG.
That man makes me sick.
He even had the audacity to put his YouTube channel in TSA colors.
Or maybe he didn't even know that teal represented TS. Probably not, because he's so stupid.
I don't care if he sees this blog. Go ahead, you can even show it to him for all I care. He makes very offensive videos, and I'd even say all of this to his face.
I even e-mailed the TSA about the Tourettes Guy, even though they probably already know about him since he's so famous, but the TSA never e-mailed me back.
I'm done ranting.
Teen angst...
Emma<3
The Final Chapter ... Of Summer
Hello people!
I start high school tomorrow.
I know, I know. Amazing, right? Hold your applause.
But, I'm really stressed about it. There are around 4 to 5 different buildings, and I have to walk from building to building each day and it's confusing. The upperclassmen told me that my teachers are ... interesting, and that I only have one good one.
I really want to sign up for Photography Club and Drama Club, so I'm excited about that. I looked around on the high school website for dates for auditions and everything, but I didn't know if they were based on the past year or this year, so I e-mailed the drama teacher.
My mom said that it's hard the first day, but then it's just like transitioning to elementary school or middle school.
My response was that this school has a bigger campus with more buildings to get lost in, and there's more work and it's harder, and AGHH!
Looking at everything, all in all, there isn't an extreme amount to be worried about. It's not like college, where you have an even larger campus, and have to live on your own, and worry about a job, and AGHH!
But, in high school you have to worry about college, and then getting a job, and everyone always says, "Start preparing for college early!" and AGHH!
My Anxiety Disorder makes me worry a ton, and even though I take medicine for it, I still worry and stress about everything.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"
Matthew 6:25-27
God gave me Anxiety Disorder, so I can't help but worry, but I try my hardest to work everything out.
I know worrying isn't a sin, but sometimes I wonder, why does God give us things that make us sin? Like, with OCD, you feel the need to do things that could be sometimes be sins. My OCD used to want me to try to breathe underwater, or lick knives. But, I also can get tempted to say mean things to people. Things that I don't actually think about them. Even though that doesn't happen a lot, sometimes OCD will make me think sinful thoughts.
But, maybe that's not God who gave me those things.
We were all born with sin.
It's hurdles the devil has thrown at me, and God wants me to be a track star.
All I know for sure is that God will always love me, and if I meaningfully ask him to forgive my sins, he will.
Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
There's a different version to that song my friend made up...
Justin loves me, this I know, for his music tells me so.
I think that's pretty clever.
I'm trying not to stress too much. I need to relax. Tomorrow is going to go fine.
New School. New Atmosphere. New People. New Teachers. New Classes.
I don't do "new".
Dear Lord, help me.
Thanks for reading! I'll make sure to tell you about the first day of school tomorrow, if I don't have a heap of homework.(:
Emma<3
I start high school tomorrow.
I know, I know. Amazing, right? Hold your applause.
But, I'm really stressed about it. There are around 4 to 5 different buildings, and I have to walk from building to building each day and it's confusing. The upperclassmen told me that my teachers are ... interesting, and that I only have one good one.
I really want to sign up for Photography Club and Drama Club, so I'm excited about that. I looked around on the high school website for dates for auditions and everything, but I didn't know if they were based on the past year or this year, so I e-mailed the drama teacher.
My mom said that it's hard the first day, but then it's just like transitioning to elementary school or middle school.
My response was that this school has a bigger campus with more buildings to get lost in, and there's more work and it's harder, and AGHH!
Looking at everything, all in all, there isn't an extreme amount to be worried about. It's not like college, where you have an even larger campus, and have to live on your own, and worry about a job, and AGHH!
But, in high school you have to worry about college, and then getting a job, and everyone always says, "Start preparing for college early!" and AGHH!
My Anxiety Disorder makes me worry a ton, and even though I take medicine for it, I still worry and stress about everything.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"
Matthew 6:25-27
God gave me Anxiety Disorder, so I can't help but worry, but I try my hardest to work everything out.
I know worrying isn't a sin, but sometimes I wonder, why does God give us things that make us sin? Like, with OCD, you feel the need to do things that could be sometimes be sins. My OCD used to want me to try to breathe underwater, or lick knives. But, I also can get tempted to say mean things to people. Things that I don't actually think about them. Even though that doesn't happen a lot, sometimes OCD will make me think sinful thoughts.
But, maybe that's not God who gave me those things.
We were all born with sin.
It's hurdles the devil has thrown at me, and God wants me to be a track star.
All I know for sure is that God will always love me, and if I meaningfully ask him to forgive my sins, he will.
Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
There's a different version to that song my friend made up...
Justin loves me, this I know, for his music tells me so.
I think that's pretty clever.
I'm trying not to stress too much. I need to relax. Tomorrow is going to go fine.
New School. New Atmosphere. New People. New Teachers. New Classes.
I don't do "new".
Dear Lord, help me.
Thanks for reading! I'll make sure to tell you about the first day of school tomorrow, if I don't have a heap of homework.(:
Emma<3
Thursday, August 18, 2011
My Family
Hey everyone!
My family helps me get through a lot of hard times...(:
Me & my little bro, Sam.
Us, again.
Left to Right: Sam, brother. Mom. Dad. Me.
I love you guys, and thanks for helping me through some pretty tough times!!!<3
Emma<3
My family helps me get through a lot of hard times...(:
Me & my little bro, Sam.
Us, again.
Left to Right: Sam, brother. Mom. Dad. Me.
I love you guys, and thanks for helping me through some pretty tough times!!!<3
Emma<3
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Pedicure Day(:
Hey Everyone!
Or the few of you that actually read this blog...
Today, I got a pedicure.
I know people are supposed to relax in their little massage chairs and enjoy getting their feet massaged, and toes painted pretty colors, but with me that's just not the case.
I know that's sounds crazy, but I have Tourettes.
Oh, the excuse I have used SO many times. Pshhh, TS deserves it. Especially since it's always true, and the excuse fits to the topic.
Today I got a great pedicure, though. Probably the best. I will explain why later.
See how I'm drawing you in? Making you want to read more?
No? Oh, okay. Darn Middle School education.
Anyways, whenever I go to a nail salon, my mom and I try to explain what Tourettes is to them, and that I may have to move my legs and feet a bit.
I try really hard not to tic, but that never ends up well... Tourettes wins.
The nail people will give me weird looks, tell me to stop moving, and talk to their friends in a different language.
I mean, come on, who understands what they're saying during that time? I always get this paranoid feeling that they're talking about me behind my- oh I'm sorry, I mean in front of my back.
I always get really apprehensive when the people tell me to stop moving my legs and feet, since I had already tried to explain it before, and half the time I don't know if they really understand all of my English... If I just tell them the same thing they've already heard over and over again, it's very unlikely that they would stop telling me to quit moving.
I don't tic so much that if they tried to paint a nail, I'd kick the nail polish everytime and it would go flying everywhere. I try extremely hard to not tic, and I distract myself with my phone, since normally they're too bitter with me to want to talk to me... or again, don't know that much English.
But, today was different. I went to a nail salon I'd never been to with my mom, my mom's friend, and my mom's other friend's daughter.
My mom's friend knows about my blog, and told me she would like to be called *Aunt Veronica.
She would also like to be known as the badass aunt married to a mob king.
She isn't really even my aunt, but I wish she was.
I had a great guy doing my nails though, and he gave me a wonderful pedicure. He was so understanding and talked to me during the normally agonizing process.
Hey, my mom always says "Beauty hurts!"
Even though my normal pedicures don't actually physically hurt me, my TS kind of ruins the experience, which in turn isn't such a great thing, so... well... you get the joke.(;
Anyways, I'd like to thank the guy who gave me my pedicure, and I'm not naming him, since I don't have permission.
I'm really tired, since I babysat a three year old and an eight year old after the pedicure today.
Alright, thanks for reading.
"Live your life, you only get one." -Me
Emma<3
Or the few of you that actually read this blog...
Today, I got a pedicure.
I know people are supposed to relax in their little massage chairs and enjoy getting their feet massaged, and toes painted pretty colors, but with me that's just not the case.
I know that's sounds crazy, but I have Tourettes.
Oh, the excuse I have used SO many times. Pshhh, TS deserves it. Especially since it's always true, and the excuse fits to the topic.
Today I got a great pedicure, though. Probably the best. I will explain why later.
See how I'm drawing you in? Making you want to read more?
No? Oh, okay. Darn Middle School education.
Anyways, whenever I go to a nail salon, my mom and I try to explain what Tourettes is to them, and that I may have to move my legs and feet a bit.
I try really hard not to tic, but that never ends up well... Tourettes wins.
The nail people will give me weird looks, tell me to stop moving, and talk to their friends in a different language.
I mean, come on, who understands what they're saying during that time? I always get this paranoid feeling that they're talking about me behind my- oh I'm sorry, I mean in front of my back.
I always get really apprehensive when the people tell me to stop moving my legs and feet, since I had already tried to explain it before, and half the time I don't know if they really understand all of my English... If I just tell them the same thing they've already heard over and over again, it's very unlikely that they would stop telling me to quit moving.
I don't tic so much that if they tried to paint a nail, I'd kick the nail polish everytime and it would go flying everywhere. I try extremely hard to not tic, and I distract myself with my phone, since normally they're too bitter with me to want to talk to me... or again, don't know that much English.
But, today was different. I went to a nail salon I'd never been to with my mom, my mom's friend, and my mom's other friend's daughter.
My mom's friend knows about my blog, and told me she would like to be called *Aunt Veronica.
She would also like to be known as the badass aunt married to a mob king.
She isn't really even my aunt, but I wish she was.
I had a great guy doing my nails though, and he gave me a wonderful pedicure. He was so understanding and talked to me during the normally agonizing process.
Hey, my mom always says "Beauty hurts!"
Even though my normal pedicures don't actually physically hurt me, my TS kind of ruins the experience, which in turn isn't such a great thing, so... well... you get the joke.(;
Anyways, I'd like to thank the guy who gave me my pedicure, and I'm not naming him, since I don't have permission.
I'm really tired, since I babysat a three year old and an eight year old after the pedicure today.
Alright, thanks for reading.
"Live your life, you only get one." -Me
Emma<3
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Rawr!
Hey Yinz,
So, yesterday I went to Cougar Camp. Yes, I know how that sounds... but it's not a camp to learn how to score younger men. It's my highschool camp! Our mascot is a cougar. No, I don't mean Missy G... but the animal. It wasn't really an orientation. Different people go at different days and times according to their last names, so I was with Samantha Patrick at the time we went, which was 12:15pm. Then, it turns out they break you into even smaller groups, and we got separated. But a little before it started, we talked talked to *Maria (*Name changed!).
So, while talking to "Maria", I bent down, which is one of my tics. It kind of looks like I'm ducking. That, or as many people say, I'm "dropping it like it's hot". I kind of like that phrase better. Maria just gave me one of those huge smiles and said, "What was that?!"
I am so used to this, but it's still annoying. I'm always really nice about it though, and shake it off.
Alright Maria, it's not like I just popped my eyes out, then put them back in. I just squatted.
"Oh, I have Tourettes," I replied, unphased.
"Oh my gosh! You could so use that to your advantage!" she exclaimed.
Oh dear Lord in Heaven.
But Maria just continued, "You could really use that to your advantage! You could totally go around slapping people like 'Oh, sorry, Tourettes!' and never get in trouble!"
Now, why in Hell would I do that?
And she continued some more, "Like, you should so do that! You couldn't get in any trouble 'cause like you have Tourettes!"
She was even displaying the movements, showing me how I should slap people, and she was laughing, but she was the only one. Sam and I really didn't think it was funny.
So I responded, "Oh, well that's not really what Tourettes is."
"But still, you could totally use that to your advantage!" Maria grinned.
I know she didn't mean it in a negative way, like "Carl" or "Jack" had, but I was still unhappy with what she said.
When Maria went to talk to someone else, Sam and I just looked at eachother.
Sam told me, "Whoa. I would never say that to someone. I can't believe she just said that!"
I replied, "Welcome to my life. Everytime I go to a new school, this is what happens. People don't understand, and I get made fun of for it."
I understand that Maria was just clueless about it, but she should have recognized I was feeling uncomfortable, and stopped. My Tourettes is no excuse for slapping people in the hallways, because the tics don't just come automatically and happen all of a sudden. I would be a pretty messy eater if that was true... But, you get this feeling, and if you don't do the tic, the feeling gets worse. I can't really explain the feeling, but if you don't have TS, be glad. I know that a lot of people out there have worse problems, and I totally acknowledge that. I'm just saying TS is very unpleasant.
But if you really want to feel that feeling, overdose on dopamine. Badooomp Schhh!!
Yeah, that was a drum noise at the end...
And I am aware the joke is corny, because I'm pretty sure no person in their right mind wants Tourettes.
Dopamine is produced in the basil ganglia, which is in the middle of your brain, and overproduction of this chemical is one of the causes of Tourette Syndrome.
Oh yeah, that's right. Rising ninth grader knows her science! That's why I got placed in Honors.(;
Anyways, I shook it off and went throughout the day, only to find that apparently a lot of my teachers are terrible. In the former students' opinions, pretty much all of my teachers the upperclassmen either had no idea who they were, or the majority choice: they didn't like the teachers. At all.
Except for one. But, I have to wait until second semester to get her...
So, exciting stuff, touring some of the school, watching a cool video, and playing team building games like Huggy Bears. GREAT.
I had an okay time there, and I slept over at my friend Megan's house afterwards.
High School... Ready or not, here I come.
Now, to go watch some Syfy!(:
Thank you for reading.
Emma<3
So, yesterday I went to Cougar Camp. Yes, I know how that sounds... but it's not a camp to learn how to score younger men. It's my highschool camp! Our mascot is a cougar. No, I don't mean Missy G... but the animal. It wasn't really an orientation. Different people go at different days and times according to their last names, so I was with Samantha Patrick at the time we went, which was 12:15pm. Then, it turns out they break you into even smaller groups, and we got separated. But a little before it started, we talked talked to *Maria (*Name changed!).
So, while talking to "Maria", I bent down, which is one of my tics. It kind of looks like I'm ducking. That, or as many people say, I'm "dropping it like it's hot". I kind of like that phrase better. Maria just gave me one of those huge smiles and said, "What was that?!"
I am so used to this, but it's still annoying. I'm always really nice about it though, and shake it off.
Alright Maria, it's not like I just popped my eyes out, then put them back in. I just squatted.
"Oh, I have Tourettes," I replied, unphased.
"Oh my gosh! You could so use that to your advantage!" she exclaimed.
Oh dear Lord in Heaven.
But Maria just continued, "You could really use that to your advantage! You could totally go around slapping people like 'Oh, sorry, Tourettes!' and never get in trouble!"
Now, why in Hell would I do that?
And she continued some more, "Like, you should so do that! You couldn't get in any trouble 'cause like you have Tourettes!"
She was even displaying the movements, showing me how I should slap people, and she was laughing, but she was the only one. Sam and I really didn't think it was funny.
So I responded, "Oh, well that's not really what Tourettes is."
"But still, you could totally use that to your advantage!" Maria grinned.
I know she didn't mean it in a negative way, like "Carl" or "Jack" had, but I was still unhappy with what she said.
When Maria went to talk to someone else, Sam and I just looked at eachother.
Sam told me, "Whoa. I would never say that to someone. I can't believe she just said that!"
I replied, "Welcome to my life. Everytime I go to a new school, this is what happens. People don't understand, and I get made fun of for it."
I understand that Maria was just clueless about it, but she should have recognized I was feeling uncomfortable, and stopped. My Tourettes is no excuse for slapping people in the hallways, because the tics don't just come automatically and happen all of a sudden. I would be a pretty messy eater if that was true... But, you get this feeling, and if you don't do the tic, the feeling gets worse. I can't really explain the feeling, but if you don't have TS, be glad. I know that a lot of people out there have worse problems, and I totally acknowledge that. I'm just saying TS is very unpleasant.
But if you really want to feel that feeling, overdose on dopamine. Badooomp Schhh!!
Yeah, that was a drum noise at the end...
And I am aware the joke is corny, because I'm pretty sure no person in their right mind wants Tourettes.
Dopamine is produced in the basil ganglia, which is in the middle of your brain, and overproduction of this chemical is one of the causes of Tourette Syndrome.
Oh yeah, that's right. Rising ninth grader knows her science! That's why I got placed in Honors.(;
Anyways, I shook it off and went throughout the day, only to find that apparently a lot of my teachers are terrible. In the former students' opinions, pretty much all of my teachers the upperclassmen either had no idea who they were, or the majority choice: they didn't like the teachers. At all.
Except for one. But, I have to wait until second semester to get her...
So, exciting stuff, touring some of the school, watching a cool video, and playing team building games like Huggy Bears. GREAT.
I had an okay time there, and I slept over at my friend Megan's house afterwards.
High School... Ready or not, here I come.
Now, to go watch some Syfy!(:
Thank you for reading.
Emma<3
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Here Comes Dorothy!
Hey People!
I took another acting camp this week, and at the beginning I wasn't particularly happy with it. My friend Janie and I were frustrated since we were doing a lot of the same stuff as the past week and because the other campers were not necessarily at our level... I guess that sounds a bit arrogant, but I don't mean for it to. Throughout the week, I made a great friend named Julia. She is a great actress, and she will be sleeping over at my house tomorrow, along with Janie. We warmed up to a lot of the other kids too, and today during auditions for the musicals we wrote, we found out this one kid named Bryant is extremely funny. We worked on the plays a bunch today, and tomorrow we will be working even more. Then, at 3pm we will be performing them. I'm really looking forward to it.
In the beginning of the week, I wasn't too happy... but every day has gotten better. I can't believe tomorrow is the last day!
The thing that I'm most excited about is that I got the part I wanted in the "Fractured Fairytales" play! I auditioned for Dorothy and I got the part! She is really dumb, but I love playing those types of characters. I get to save the day with zebras, which I am really excited about.
I love to act. Acting is my passion, along with singing, dancing, and playing the guitar. I also love to write.
So, people with Tourettes can accomplish things that normal people can, because even though we are different, that's one of the best things about it.
I don't want this to come off as life is so easy for people with TS, and they can do whatever they want, because that is not always the case. When my tics get really bad, sometimes I want to crawl out of my skin. I hate it, but I don't let it get in the way of my life. I jump over those obstacles.
I will lay awake at night, constantly ticcing, and ticcing. But, you have to learn to relax, and distract yourself. Take deep breaths, and think about other things.
I am turning 14 in less than a month, which means in about 6 months I can start Driver's Ed. I don't know if I'll be able to drive though. Ever. I mean, how can you drive when you have to clap your hands, straighten your legs, and blink your eyes really hard, plus a TON of other tics that can distract you from the road? If I clap my hands, they will be off the wheel. If I straighten my legs, I'll go full throttle. If I blink real hard, I won't see the road. Plus, tons of other tics that I do could cause me to get into an accident.
Maybe I will have restrictions on my license? I know my mom has one where she HAS to wear glasses, but I don't know how any restrictions could apply to me but "DON'T DRIVE."
So, maybe I'll never be able to drive... at least not comfortably without any accidents... But, that's okay. Less work for me to do, and my friends can drive me around.(;
I don't really feel that way (that it's good to not have a license), because I really do want to drive.
Who knows? Maybe one day I won't have as many horrid tics! Even though my TS hates me, and would probably have me develop tics that would restrain me from driving.
Well, I'll have to wait and see. All I know is that God knows what will happen, and all I can do is pray for help and guidance.
My mom once (or many more times than once) told me that God gave me TS, OCD, and Anxiety Disorder because I can handle it, but you know what? Most of the time, I feel like I can't.
Life with TS is hard, but I know that there are more people out there with TS that may have it harder than me. Even though I was diagnosed moderate-severe, I am heavily medicated, and some people either can't afford medication, or haven't been diagnosed.
I remember when I was 5, I was a lab rat. My first tic ever was a cough, and it got so bad that my chest was bruised. They diagnosed me with asthma, and gave me an inhaler, and even a cube shaped breathing machine. Then, they decided I didn't have asthma, so I inhaled all of that medicine for no reason. They went through tons of trials and tests, and even telling me I was allergic to Fall. Yes, the season. It didn't make any sense to me when I was younger.
Eventually, I developed more tics, and they finally diagnosed me with Tourette Syndrome.
I have been through so many different meds, I remember getting my blood drawn almost every month for lab tests and getting EKGs done a lot.
Once, in the third grade, I was put on Risperidol, and it made me gain ten pounds! We took me off of it, and I lost a ton of weight. Funny thing is, I am currently taking that medicine (or it's generic, Risperidone, which is basically the same thing, just a different name and manufacturing company or something), and I lost weight when I started taking it! Only for a little while though, but I thought that was pretty cool in a strange way.
Well, I must run! I need to go watch Alphas, which is on my favorite channel, Syfy. It comes on Mondays at 10pm. I recorded it, so I'm good to go!(:
Thank you for reading.
Emma<3
I took another acting camp this week, and at the beginning I wasn't particularly happy with it. My friend Janie and I were frustrated since we were doing a lot of the same stuff as the past week and because the other campers were not necessarily at our level... I guess that sounds a bit arrogant, but I don't mean for it to. Throughout the week, I made a great friend named Julia. She is a great actress, and she will be sleeping over at my house tomorrow, along with Janie. We warmed up to a lot of the other kids too, and today during auditions for the musicals we wrote, we found out this one kid named Bryant is extremely funny. We worked on the plays a bunch today, and tomorrow we will be working even more. Then, at 3pm we will be performing them. I'm really looking forward to it.
In the beginning of the week, I wasn't too happy... but every day has gotten better. I can't believe tomorrow is the last day!
The thing that I'm most excited about is that I got the part I wanted in the "Fractured Fairytales" play! I auditioned for Dorothy and I got the part! She is really dumb, but I love playing those types of characters. I get to save the day with zebras, which I am really excited about.
I love to act. Acting is my passion, along with singing, dancing, and playing the guitar. I also love to write.
So, people with Tourettes can accomplish things that normal people can, because even though we are different, that's one of the best things about it.
I don't want this to come off as life is so easy for people with TS, and they can do whatever they want, because that is not always the case. When my tics get really bad, sometimes I want to crawl out of my skin. I hate it, but I don't let it get in the way of my life. I jump over those obstacles.
I will lay awake at night, constantly ticcing, and ticcing. But, you have to learn to relax, and distract yourself. Take deep breaths, and think about other things.
I am turning 14 in less than a month, which means in about 6 months I can start Driver's Ed. I don't know if I'll be able to drive though. Ever. I mean, how can you drive when you have to clap your hands, straighten your legs, and blink your eyes really hard, plus a TON of other tics that can distract you from the road? If I clap my hands, they will be off the wheel. If I straighten my legs, I'll go full throttle. If I blink real hard, I won't see the road. Plus, tons of other tics that I do could cause me to get into an accident.
Maybe I will have restrictions on my license? I know my mom has one where she HAS to wear glasses, but I don't know how any restrictions could apply to me but "DON'T DRIVE."
So, maybe I'll never be able to drive... at least not comfortably without any accidents... But, that's okay. Less work for me to do, and my friends can drive me around.(;
I don't really feel that way (that it's good to not have a license), because I really do want to drive.
Who knows? Maybe one day I won't have as many horrid tics! Even though my TS hates me, and would probably have me develop tics that would restrain me from driving.
Well, I'll have to wait and see. All I know is that God knows what will happen, and all I can do is pray for help and guidance.
My mom once (or many more times than once) told me that God gave me TS, OCD, and Anxiety Disorder because I can handle it, but you know what? Most of the time, I feel like I can't.
Life with TS is hard, but I know that there are more people out there with TS that may have it harder than me. Even though I was diagnosed moderate-severe, I am heavily medicated, and some people either can't afford medication, or haven't been diagnosed.
I remember when I was 5, I was a lab rat. My first tic ever was a cough, and it got so bad that my chest was bruised. They diagnosed me with asthma, and gave me an inhaler, and even a cube shaped breathing machine. Then, they decided I didn't have asthma, so I inhaled all of that medicine for no reason. They went through tons of trials and tests, and even telling me I was allergic to Fall. Yes, the season. It didn't make any sense to me when I was younger.
Eventually, I developed more tics, and they finally diagnosed me with Tourette Syndrome.
I have been through so many different meds, I remember getting my blood drawn almost every month for lab tests and getting EKGs done a lot.
Once, in the third grade, I was put on Risperidol, and it made me gain ten pounds! We took me off of it, and I lost a ton of weight. Funny thing is, I am currently taking that medicine (or it's generic, Risperidone, which is basically the same thing, just a different name and manufacturing company or something), and I lost weight when I started taking it! Only for a little while though, but I thought that was pretty cool in a strange way.
Well, I must run! I need to go watch Alphas, which is on my favorite channel, Syfy. It comes on Mondays at 10pm. I recorded it, so I'm good to go!(:
Thank you for reading.
Emma<3
Friday, August 5, 2011
The Angry Family
Hey Everyone!
Today I did a play at Raleigh Little Theater during my camp and the parents came to see. My fellow campers and I wrote a play called "The Angry Family" and performed it.
I must say though, there is one guy there where it was hard for me to even look at him.
No, I'm not saying he's so friggin' ugly I can't bare to even be in his presence.
He had a tic.
A tic that I have.
That's why I could barely look at him.
I don't think he had Tourettes. Just a tic, or maybe even a chronic tic disorder.
But putting two people who have TS- or in this case one who has TS and one who has a tic, can end disastrously.
When I see someone doing a tic I have, or even just a repetitive movement, I have to do it. It's so annoying, and this dude had this eye tic that I also have. We scrunch up our eyes and blink and stuff. Whenever I looked at him it kind of made me angry inside, not because I hated him, but because I couldn't bare seeing him tic. He was a nice guy, but I just couldn't look at him.
Awkward when you have to work in a group with him...
Anyways...
The play went pretty well. I was LeRoi, the family hobo.
It was extremely fun!
Thank you for reading my blog.(:
Emma<3
Today I did a play at Raleigh Little Theater during my camp and the parents came to see. My fellow campers and I wrote a play called "The Angry Family" and performed it.
I must say though, there is one guy there where it was hard for me to even look at him.
No, I'm not saying he's so friggin' ugly I can't bare to even be in his presence.
He had a tic.
A tic that I have.
That's why I could barely look at him.
I don't think he had Tourettes. Just a tic, or maybe even a chronic tic disorder.
But putting two people who have TS- or in this case one who has TS and one who has a tic, can end disastrously.
When I see someone doing a tic I have, or even just a repetitive movement, I have to do it. It's so annoying, and this dude had this eye tic that I also have. We scrunch up our eyes and blink and stuff. Whenever I looked at him it kind of made me angry inside, not because I hated him, but because I couldn't bare seeing him tic. He was a nice guy, but I just couldn't look at him.
Awkward when you have to work in a group with him...
Anyways...
The play went pretty well. I was LeRoi, the family hobo.
It was extremely fun!
Thank you for reading my blog.(:
Emma<3
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Guys These Days
Hey Yinz,
Yes, I was born in the Burgh. Pittsburgh, that is.(:
During the eighth grade, I rode the bus with these total jerks, and I'm so nice that I'll change their names while talking about them, even though they deserve to be publicly humiliated. I'm about to go to highschool, where they will probably ride my bus again... Oh Lord.
So, "Carl" and "Jack" are total idiots.
At school, we were doing these things called Multi-Genre projects, where we picked one thesis about a specific topic and wrote different pieces about it answering the thesis question. So, to make friendly conversation, I asked Carl and Jack what their topic was, and they said theirs were both on the KKK. So I told them I did mine on Tourettes and they just laughed and laughed and totally made fun of it. This was not the first time they had been completely rude to me, but on some small occasions they would actually be decent, so that's why I was actually talking to them. Jack had been going to school with me since Kindergarten, and should have known that I had Tourettes since my elementary school guidance counsler would come speak to the kids each year, but no. This insensitive tool, who probably did remember I had TS, and didn't care, went on making fun. They started cussing insanely and loudly acting like they had Tourettes, and I told them to stop, and that they were immitating Coprolalia, which was an uncommon form of Tourettes. Carl kept saying, "You don't have Tourettes, you don't have Tourettes!"
Do you know how many times people have told me that? Well, yes I do, dumbass, I know myself. I live in my own body, thank you very much. I know what goes on, and I'm. not. kidding.
Anyways they kept saying things like, "Could **** I go to the ******* bathroom, please ****?" and just inserting swear words into normal everyday sentences. It really ticked me off, so I ignored them for the rest of the bus ride since they wouldn't stop.
Eventually near the end of the bus ride, Carl said, "You really have Tourettes?:
No duh, jackass, I've only been saying that for the past twenty minutes.
So I replied, "Yes, I do, duh!"
He apoligized insincerely and we got off at our stop.
But life goes on.
Oh the tools you'll meet in this life.
Emma
Yes, I was born in the Burgh. Pittsburgh, that is.(:
During the eighth grade, I rode the bus with these total jerks, and I'm so nice that I'll change their names while talking about them, even though they deserve to be publicly humiliated. I'm about to go to highschool, where they will probably ride my bus again... Oh Lord.
So, "Carl" and "Jack" are total idiots.
At school, we were doing these things called Multi-Genre projects, where we picked one thesis about a specific topic and wrote different pieces about it answering the thesis question. So, to make friendly conversation, I asked Carl and Jack what their topic was, and they said theirs were both on the KKK. So I told them I did mine on Tourettes and they just laughed and laughed and totally made fun of it. This was not the first time they had been completely rude to me, but on some small occasions they would actually be decent, so that's why I was actually talking to them. Jack had been going to school with me since Kindergarten, and should have known that I had Tourettes since my elementary school guidance counsler would come speak to the kids each year, but no. This insensitive tool, who probably did remember I had TS, and didn't care, went on making fun. They started cussing insanely and loudly acting like they had Tourettes, and I told them to stop, and that they were immitating Coprolalia, which was an uncommon form of Tourettes. Carl kept saying, "You don't have Tourettes, you don't have Tourettes!"
Do you know how many times people have told me that? Well, yes I do, dumbass, I know myself. I live in my own body, thank you very much. I know what goes on, and I'm. not. kidding.
Anyways they kept saying things like, "Could **** I go to the ******* bathroom, please ****?" and just inserting swear words into normal everyday sentences. It really ticked me off, so I ignored them for the rest of the bus ride since they wouldn't stop.
Eventually near the end of the bus ride, Carl said, "You really have Tourettes?:
No duh, jackass, I've only been saying that for the past twenty minutes.
So I replied, "Yes, I do, duh!"
He apoligized insincerely and we got off at our stop.
But life goes on.
Oh the tools you'll meet in this life.
Emma
Awkward Encounter
Hey Everyone!
I am nearing the end of an amazing Summer. It has been my first Summer in 6 years since I have been on a Year-Round calender 3rd - 8th grade. I went to a really cool church camp called Centrifudge over in Ridgecrest near the beginning of Summer for a week, then the next week I was at the beach in Deleware for a whole week with one of my best friends, Megan. The next week I went on a mission trip in Red Springs, NC. At Centrifudge, I met one of the guitarists from Rush of Fools who played praise songs for us everyday, and I became friends with all of Kinetic Worship during my mission trip. Currently, I am going to an acting camp at Raleigh Little Theater, and I will be at another one (still at RLT) next week.
So, today we did an acting excercise, since, hello, we are at acting camp, called Park Bench. You basically put two chairs next to eachother to form a "bench", and one person acts as themselves, while the other acts as a "weird person" whos full intent is to make the "normal person" leave the bench. For instance, if someone in a random park came up, sat next to you, and said, "I eat children," then you would leave. Well, at least I hope you would... but if someone just says "Hi!" then you probably wouldn't leave. It was an improv practice, I know it sounds boring, but bear with me. Anyways, I was next up in line after this one kid (who I will not name, we will just call him Fred). Fred said (ooh that rhymed!) to the other person- this may not be a perfect quote because this happened many hours ago and my memory isn't great but I remember most of it- "Hey, you may not want to sit next to me. I'm kinda scary. I have this thing called Tourette Syndrome where I randomly lash out at people!" and he starting hitting the other dude, who got up and ran away.
So I said, "Uh, that's not funny, I have Tourette's," really loudly.
The dude didn't look exactly mortified, and at first I'm pretty sure he didn't believe I had it, but then said, "Oh, sorry."
After my turn I went up to him and said, "That's not what Tourettes is. I was diagnosed moderate to severe and you don't see me lashing my arm out at people."
I also told him something along the lines of that I was heavily medicated and that he didn't know what TS was.
So he said he was sorry and that he didn't know what TS really was, and that he was just basing that off of South Park.
SOUTH PARK.
I know South Park makes fun of everything, but my friend had told me about the episode too, and it is extremely disrespectful (which the show shoots for, so YAY, you've achieved your goal), and a completely wrong portrayal of Tourette Syndrome.
Funny thing is, I love South Park...
So, that was my awkward encounter of the day.
In the words of an amazing red-headed eight year old, Don't be a hater.(;
Peace&Blessings, (I'm a glozell1 fan!)
Emma<3
I am nearing the end of an amazing Summer. It has been my first Summer in 6 years since I have been on a Year-Round calender 3rd - 8th grade. I went to a really cool church camp called Centrifudge over in Ridgecrest near the beginning of Summer for a week, then the next week I was at the beach in Deleware for a whole week with one of my best friends, Megan. The next week I went on a mission trip in Red Springs, NC. At Centrifudge, I met one of the guitarists from Rush of Fools who played praise songs for us everyday, and I became friends with all of Kinetic Worship during my mission trip. Currently, I am going to an acting camp at Raleigh Little Theater, and I will be at another one (still at RLT) next week.
So, today we did an acting excercise, since, hello, we are at acting camp, called Park Bench. You basically put two chairs next to eachother to form a "bench", and one person acts as themselves, while the other acts as a "weird person" whos full intent is to make the "normal person" leave the bench. For instance, if someone in a random park came up, sat next to you, and said, "I eat children," then you would leave. Well, at least I hope you would... but if someone just says "Hi!" then you probably wouldn't leave. It was an improv practice, I know it sounds boring, but bear with me. Anyways, I was next up in line after this one kid (who I will not name, we will just call him Fred). Fred said (ooh that rhymed!) to the other person- this may not be a perfect quote because this happened many hours ago and my memory isn't great but I remember most of it- "Hey, you may not want to sit next to me. I'm kinda scary. I have this thing called Tourette Syndrome where I randomly lash out at people!" and he starting hitting the other dude, who got up and ran away.
So I said, "Uh, that's not funny, I have Tourette's," really loudly.
The dude didn't look exactly mortified, and at first I'm pretty sure he didn't believe I had it, but then said, "Oh, sorry."
After my turn I went up to him and said, "That's not what Tourettes is. I was diagnosed moderate to severe and you don't see me lashing my arm out at people."
I also told him something along the lines of that I was heavily medicated and that he didn't know what TS was.
So he said he was sorry and that he didn't know what TS really was, and that he was just basing that off of South Park.
SOUTH PARK.
I know South Park makes fun of everything, but my friend had told me about the episode too, and it is extremely disrespectful (which the show shoots for, so YAY, you've achieved your goal), and a completely wrong portrayal of Tourette Syndrome.
Funny thing is, I love South Park...
So, that was my awkward encounter of the day.
In the words of an amazing red-headed eight year old, Don't be a hater.(;
Peace&Blessings, (I'm a glozell1 fan!)
Emma<3
Thursday, July 28, 2011
This is The Stuff
Hey everyone!
I am posting a video on YouTube right now of me singing "This is The Stuff" by Francesca Batiselli! My YouTube name is emmasinger2.
Just because you have Tourettes, that doesn't mean you can't do the things you want to do. I was diagnosed with moderate to severe TS when I was five. I still manage to do all the stuff I love, even though sometimes it can be hard.
I have Tourette's, but Tourette's doesn't have me.
Always remember that motto, it will help you out in the worst of times.
In my video, you may notice a few tics, but I try really hard to focus on the singing and distract myself. I am medicated, so it definitely doesn't look that bad. I have learned to mask my tics and make them look like normal everyday movements.
I know that it can be really hard to live with Tourette's, but you have to brave through it.
You can't let TS take hold of your life, it's your life, not those darn tics'.
Yes, I may sound like some nagging parent, but it's true. YOU get to live your life, not Tourette Syndrome.
Live your life, you only get one.<3
God Bless!
Emma<3
I am posting a video on YouTube right now of me singing "This is The Stuff" by Francesca Batiselli! My YouTube name is emmasinger2.
Just because you have Tourettes, that doesn't mean you can't do the things you want to do. I was diagnosed with moderate to severe TS when I was five. I still manage to do all the stuff I love, even though sometimes it can be hard.
I have Tourette's, but Tourette's doesn't have me.
Always remember that motto, it will help you out in the worst of times.
In my video, you may notice a few tics, but I try really hard to focus on the singing and distract myself. I am medicated, so it definitely doesn't look that bad. I have learned to mask my tics and make them look like normal everyday movements.
I know that it can be really hard to live with Tourette's, but you have to brave through it.
You can't let TS take hold of your life, it's your life, not those darn tics'.
Yes, I may sound like some nagging parent, but it's true. YOU get to live your life, not Tourette Syndrome.
Live your life, you only get one.<3
God Bless!
Emma<3
Monday, July 25, 2011
Life's A Twitch
Hey everyone!
I just started this blog today. July 25, 2011. My name is Emma and I am 13 years old. I have Tourette Syndrome and I know how hard it can be to live with it. This blog isn't just for people who have Tourette's to be able to relate to me, but for people who probably don't understand Tourette's. Tourette syndrome is a neurological tic disorder characterized by often occuring vocal and motor tics.
I hope you all enjoy this blog! I will be posting descriptions of my days, etc.
Also, check this out! http://www.tsa-usa.org/Publications/ChildrensNewsletter/darntic_fall2007.pdf
I was in the "That Darn Tic" Newsletter, Fall 2007.
Thank you!
Emma
I just started this blog today. July 25, 2011. My name is Emma and I am 13 years old. I have Tourette Syndrome and I know how hard it can be to live with it. This blog isn't just for people who have Tourette's to be able to relate to me, but for people who probably don't understand Tourette's. Tourette syndrome is a neurological tic disorder characterized by often occuring vocal and motor tics.
I hope you all enjoy this blog! I will be posting descriptions of my days, etc.
Also, check this out! http://www.tsa-usa.org/Publications/ChildrensNewsletter/darntic_fall2007.pdf
I was in the "That Darn Tic" Newsletter, Fall 2007.
Thank you!
Emma
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