Monday, September 12, 2011

Sing it!

Hey Yinz!

So, I just got back from a chorus meeting. It was a test grade, yada, yada.
When I got there, we had to meet in between two trailers and line up with our group (Alto, Second Soprano, First Soprano). I am a first soprano, so I lined up along with my group.
There has always been this one girl, *Lily (*name changed), who has always been strangely negative towards me and other people sometimes, but is a sophomore loved by a lot of the other chorus members, and tons of people think she's so cute. I never really thought much of her snappiness and putting people down.
One time, when the girl next to her lent me a pair of scissors, and when I was done with them, I offered them back, because I thought they belonged to her.
"Really? Pass them to the front! Is it that hard to pass scissors?" Lily exclaimed.
I always brushed off the things that she said.
They were stupid; she was stupid.
She even randomly went off insulting people and muttering remarks about them behind their backs. I just let it go. Sadly, I have no choice but to sit in front of her, since she is in my vocal group, and we all have assigned seats.
Tonight, we all lined up, and I kept bending down, because that's one of my tics.
The girl next to me said, "Why are you doing that?"
"Tourettes," I replied quickly.
Lily caught my attention, then twitched her head violently, and exclaimed, "Sh**! That's cool!" She laughed and went on, "Oh, sorry, I had to do that."
It wasn't a sincere sorry, just a joking around type of sorry... 
But, I know she doesn't understand. Goodness, how many times do I say that on here? Tons.
I've always thought about moments with mean girls in high school when I was younger; what I would say... what I would do... but, right then and there, in the moment, I was highly offended, yet had nothing to say.
People started asking, "Is that true?", "Do you have Tourettes?", "You have Tourettes?", "Really?"
I just nodded.
"So, do you cuss and slap people?" an upperclassman asked.
"No," I replied.
Tears were brimming in my eyes because of what Lily had said. I was surprised, since I hadn't been feeling any extreme emotions from her ignorant comment.
Strong, Emma, I thought, Just keep strong. You are strong.
I didn't let one tear leave their ducts. Strong, strong, strong. Just. Keep. Strong.
The rest of the night was alright, even though I got a bit anxious during the meeting, but it was all fine.
By the way, I just turned 14 on the first of September.(:


Brush it off, she's not worth it, move on.

Stand up for yourself, don't let them walk over you.

Remember, Just. Keep. Strong.


Love,
Emma<3

Did You Hear That?

So, I wrote this poem a little while ago...


Did You Hear That?

Did you hear that?
Loud as thunder
Stinging your ears
Driving you to tears
Do you hear that?
Scares you
Frightens you
Louder, Louder, Louder
More and more keep coming
Constant drumming
What’s that?
Smacking sounds
Harder and harder the objects slam
Echoing off the walls
Clap, clap!
Drives you crazy
Drives me crazy
Listen, can you hear that?
It’s the girl with Tourettes

Emma O'Connell


Monday, September 5, 2011

Labor Day!

Hi People!

So... a lot has gone on lately. High school has been great, and today is Labor Day.

I wrote a poem-type thing, but it is stored on my laptop, which I am not on right now, so I will post it some other time.

So... life.
High school, as I said, has been great. There is this one girl in Chorus that irks me though. She is a sophomore and everyone loves her, but she is very negative towards me. I just don't deal with that crap.
Last weekend, Hurricane Irene came. I was at home, about to leave for a football game which was later cancelled, when my best friend, *Holly (*name changed), invited me to her lake house. It's north of where I live, so I thought, "Hey, what the heck! I can just avoid the hurricane up there!" So, I kissed my family goodbye and went to her lake house.
Boy, was I wrong.
There was a ton of wind and rain pounding down on the earth with brutal force. Holly's mom screamed when a tree came down on the power lines in front of their house. And then we lost power. Her parents pulled out the generator, Thank God, so we got to watch the news, and then a movie.
There was one phone in the house that worked, because it was hooked up to the wall. My iPhone has AT&T, so I don't get service at the lake, and Holly's phone was dead. So, I used the wall phone to call my parents.
"Hey mom! How is it down there? We have lots of rain and wind and a tree fell down right in front of the house!"
"Oh, wow! Well, we haven't seen a drop of rain. It's sunny."
Of course.
But at least I got to make origami and play boardgames with Holly, like people used to do in the old times. Ha. Boardgames. More like Boredgames.
By the way, Twister is really hard to play when a puppy is running into you 24/7.
We still had a good time though, and on Monday we went back to school. Yes, I survived my first week of high school. My birthday was on Thursday, September 1st. I got some money, and my parents bought me "Sims 3" and some clothes. Also, they ordered me a new laptop battery, which I think is an essential, not a gift. You should be able to get a laptop battery whenever you need one. But I was grateful for everything I got.
This weekend, being Labor Day weekend, I went up to Lake Gaston, which is where Holly's lake house is located. But, I went up with my *Aunt Veronica, otherwise known as "Aunt Ronnie", her husband *Uncle Jermajesty, their kids, *Bucket and *Shania, *Sha-nay-nay (AKA Missy G) and her husband *Tim, plus their two kids *Kat and *Breezer. Of course my family came up too. (*names changed)
Shania and my brother, Sam, are really good friends. Shania is 7, and Sam is 8. Shania's little brother, Bucket, is 3. I think Kat is 11, and Breezer is 8.
Anyways, we were all having fun, and the parents were inside the house, while I was outside with the kids. Sha-nay-nay and her family hadn't gotten there yet, so it was just Aunt Ronnie's family and mine. Sam was wearing one of Bucket's life vests, and Bucket kept whining to me that he wanted it back or else he would sink in the water. I kept playing with my mom's camera, taking pictures of him and the other kids. Then, Bucket ran off while I was viewing the pictures. I heard a splash, then gurgled screams. It took me a second to realize what was going on, but then I sprinted towards the deck, threw my mom's camera on a chair, and jumped into the water. Bucket had been horrified and his bright orange shirt looked like a mushroom floating in the water. His head was almost under, so I grabbed him and swam towards the ladder, which isn't as easy as it sounds. Bucket isn't exactly a baby anymore. He didn't swallow any water, so I rushed him up to his parents. I didn't think he would jump in, since he had already acknowledged the fact he would sink.
Yeah, super life saver heroic person award goes to Emma! I know, I know. Thank you. I was just really glad Bucket was safe.
Ha, yeah, wanna make fun of the Tourettes kid now that she saved a life? That reminds me, I was thinking of doing a Tourettes Girl YouTube channel to show up the Tourettes Guy. I'd make a bunch of inspirational videos, and just some things that show that even though I have Tourettes, I'm pretty normal. Although, I don't like the word normal. I always say "Never strive for normal. Be better than normal."
Later, while on the dock, everyone was discussing sleeping arrangements, and Aunt Ronnie offered to sleep with me. The house was a bit cramped for twelve people.
I rejected the offer, since I didn't want to ruin her sleep. I clap a lot during the night, because that is one of my Tourettes prime times, so I just offered to sleep with Kat and Breezer on an air mattress. It ended up Breezer laying down on the couch, and Kat with me on the mattress. Whenever I would clap, Breezer would yell at me to stop. I told her I couldn't help it since I have Tourettes, and Kat said the same thing, but Breezer kept yelling at me.
Clap, clap, clap!
Irritated screams
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you maniac!"
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you crazy person!"
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you weirdo!"
It eventually got to the point where Kat and I just ignored her whining.
I totally understand that she is only 8 and doesn't understand why I was clapping. I get it. Trust me, ever since I was five, I've come across hundreds of people who don't understand what I'm going through, and don't know how to deal with it.
I love watching TV with Holly, though. My OCD makes me ask all of these questions and she never gets mad. My parents, on the other hand, are extremely irritated by my question asking. I try really hard not to ask the questions, and sometimes I can actually hold it back and push it to the deep depths of my brain.
Anyways, the next day, I met up with Holly at Goat Island to go to her lake house. Goat Island got its name for a very literal reason. A bunch of goats inhabit it.
That night, I went to a party with Holly and her family. It was fun, but there was this twelve year old kid who was one of those non-understanders. This is why I must educate the population about Tourettes Syndrome.
We were playing football, and it hit my head, but he picked it up.
I'm not sure if I've gone over this yet, but whenever someone or something touches my head, chest, or wrist, I have to blow on whatever touched me. It's strange, I know. But, when I was younger it used to kind of be a game, which makes me wonder if I started it. If I triggered the OCD. I used to pretend that whatever touched those main arteries had my chi, which is the word for your natural energy. It's some Chinese thing. But, I would blow it up to God or something. It was strange. Maybe even then that was part of my OCD and I didn't know it at that point.
But, that's not the only time that has happened. When I was little, I also used to pretend that on one side of my mouth was a very rich family, and the other side was a very poor one, and I would even out how many bites I would take, but I would sometimes give more to the rich family, since they were rich and had a huge money vault, and if I gave all of it to the poor, then they wouldn't be poor. Sometimes, I'd give more to the poor family since they were struggling. I also would sometimes pretend there were two bright white molar towers, and every time I took a bite on one side, that side's tower would grow a bit. I kept making things equal. I'm sure I didn't give myself those parts of the OCD, but it's still a coincidence that those little games would turn into something that would affect me for the rest of my life.
Anyways, way off topic, Emma!
The twelve year old who stole the football... right. I just kind of sat still on the edge of one of the golf carts, and tried really hard not to have to go blow on the ball. Sometimes it feels like a little piece of my brain goes missing, or it drains out, and I have to get it back.
Holly tried to get it from him.
"Seriously, brah! I need that football!" she told him.
But, Holly, some other girls and I had been tackling him for the football and running away with it, so he didn't trust us. Eventually, one of the other girls gave him his hat back, which he was bargaining to trade the ball for, so he tossed Holly the ball. I blew really hard on it and threw it into the lake. This happened a few times, and then he intentionally poked me in the head even after we told him that he couldn't touch my head. I tried really hard not to get mad.
He doesn't understand, Emma. He doesn't understand. But, when someone tells you not to do something, you shouldn't do it. They might blog about it.(;
"He's trying to be funny," Holly whispered to me.
I rolled my eyes, which I seem to do a lot. He was failing miserably at being cute and funny. It was all a joke to him.
"Hey, can I have your finger real quick?" I asked without thinking.
We all giggled and I just mumbled, "Uh, never mind."
But, Holly eventually grabbed his wrist, which was balled up in a fist, so all I blew on was his knuckles, not the fingertip that touched me. Whatever. I tried hard not to do it anyways.
The party was still fun though, and had really good food. The night ended well, with Holly and I falling asleep on the couches in her garage loft.

I know. I know that you don't know. I get it. I get it that you don't get it. I understand. I understand that you don't understand.

Yeah, well you know what they say...


Life's A Twitch.


Emma<3