Hey People!
I have not written in a while. What can I say? I'm in high school. It takes up a lot of time.
Anyways, something just happened. I thought it was slightly funny. A girl I know posted a status with some weird joke I didn't understand, but it involved Tourettes. Okay, it wasn't "slightly funny", it was just that I laughed when she spelled Tourettes wrong.
People always spell it: Turrets.
HAHAHA.
Yeah, no. We don't have some castle turret disorder or anything like that... Turrets... hehe.
Anyways, I've been pretty stressed and anxious lately. Blah blah blah, the usual. You know, that's pretty much my daily life. Part of being a teenager... plus someone with Anxiety Disorder.
Halloween has come and past! I was a pirate, matey!
Yeah. Okay, Emma. You're corny.
K. I know.
So, my squatting tic has been on the rise. Or low... Get it? I don't rise when I squat, I go low. And I said the rise because it's been worse, but rise means up, and when you squat you don't go up, and... okay, I think you get it.(;
I've been asked a lot of questions about it lately, but I understand why. I mean, it does look pretty weird if someone just squats out of nowhere. I guess I would probably ask someone why they kept squatting if I didn't know better.
I went with some friends to a haunted corn maze that also had a "Gore House". When we entered, first of all, my one friend ran out screaming. But, that's not the point. She knows we love her even though she is a huge chicken. When you enter the Gore House, you have to wait for a little bit in this one small room, because you have to take turns entering with the other people viewing the haunted house. While waiting, two of my friends and I stood linking arms in front of one of the workers. We patiently waited for him to tell us to enter the Gore House.
I bent down a few times, then he said, "Um, I have a question. Why do you keep doing that?"
"Oh, I have Tourettes," I replied politely.
"Haha, really?"
"Yeah."
"What, really?"
"Yes, really."
"Really?"
Then, one of my friends blurted, "Yes, of course! Why would we lie about something like that? Gosh."
She seemed a bit frustrated with the worker, which made me laugh.
She asked me, "Why didn't he believe us? Like, really?"
I shrugged and told her, "Well, that's the normal reaction I get from people. They always say 'Really?', 'Nuh-uh', or 'No you don't!'."
She did not seem happy with this.
I guess I am just used to people asking me. I don't like it when they do, but I have to understand that they are just curious, and I would probably do the same if I were in their position.
That reminds me of when I went to the fair with one of my best friends last month, and while walking the way to get picked up by my dad, two girls that looked our age walked behind us.
I bent down, and heard one of the girls laugh.
"Girl, did you just see that?" One of the girls asked.
"Haha, yeah, you saw that too?"
They both laughed.
Emma, inhale... exhale...
It didn't make me mad, which surprised me since I normally get a bit angered whenever people make dumb comments and laugh like that.
Oh well, they don't get it.
Oh my gosh, I don't want to sound like one of those angst filled teenagers that are always screaming, "No one gets me! No one!"
Ha. They're dumb. Always remember that someone else has probably gone through exactly what you're going through, or worse.
I am extremely grateful that I am heavily medicated for my moderate-severe Tourettes. I know some kids have families that cannot afford health care or medication. The doctors have said that it would be painful to live a day in my life if I did not take my medication. They aren't just saying that to make me take pills. I accidentally left one of my medications in Pennsylvania, and did not take it for a few days. I ended up in the emergency room. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't taken ALL of my medications for a few days. Well, I'm not going to try that out. Anyways, I had been doing two specific tics non-stop for about 52 hours straight. One of them was rolling my abs, so at least it was like doing crunches for 52 hours. That gives you some hardcore abs. It was a painful workout, though. I didn't even know that I had missed a whole week of school, since I was so drugged up in the hospital. I found out I had missed a week when I got nominated for the "Spotlight on Student" award. My teacher was giving a speech about me, and at one point said I had missed that long of school and made up all my work. At first I thought she was exaggerating so that I would have a better chance of winning the larger award, but when I got home, I asked my parents about it. It turns out I really did miss a whole week.
Point is, I know a ton of people have it harder than me. I can barely imagine how life is for them.
But, I am glad that I am strong enough to persevere through each day. I'm blessed.
Anyways, I have to go see what bribe I can have my mom set for me if I get all A's on the report card I get tomorrow. Pssst, here's a secret. I already know I have all A's! Shhh, don't tell.(;
Thanks for reading!
Emma<3
Showing posts with label highschool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label highschool. Show all posts
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
I Know I Can, I Know I Can!
Hey Everyone!
Long time, no see!
Highschool has kept me really busy...
The other night, I was at a football game. It was my friends' homecoming game, and I had missed my homecoming game to go to the lake for *Holly's birthday, so I went to this one.
Yes, I do get a bit apprehensive about going to places and hanging out with people while standing up, since I have to squat all the time. One of my friend's friends whispered something about me being a whore after I bent down, but I wasn't sure what I had heard, so I asked. He had called me a whore because it looked like a slutty move. Just squatting. Yeah, great reason to call someone a whore! I mean, just the other week I got called a prude...
Anyways, I just said, "I have Tourettes..."
I know he was just joking around, but I did it a few more times, all the time trying to restrain myself, and he pulled out his wallet shouting, "Make it rain!"
I was offended, so I eventually left them to visit my other friend.
I hadn't seen *Drake, the guy I walked over to visit after my street walker experience, in a long time. He was standing with his friend *Pauly, so I scooted inbetween them. It was the first time I had formally met Pauly- I mean, I had seen him around in my middle school, but I never knew who he was. Lucky former me.
We talked a little bit, and I held on the the metal fence while I bent down.
Pauly gave the normal response: Giggle, giggle. "What was that?! Hahaha!"
Drake and I told him that I had Tourettes.
Pauly said, "Oh, that! So, do you only have it when you're on a pole?"
I thought he was joking, so I laughed, but when I saw his face he was expecting an answer.
I raised my eyebrows and replied, "Um, no."
"But, you bent down holding on to the pole," he pointed out, nodding to the metal fence I was gripping.
"Yeah," I replied, "but I still have it when I'm not holding on to a pole."
Pauly looked slightly confused. "But, what do you do when you don't have a pole?"
"Huh?"
"When you don't have a pole to hold on to?"
I was really surprised by then, since it was honestly one of the weirdest conversations I had ever had about Tourettes.
I tried to end it by saying that I had TS even when I wasn't on a pole.
In my head, I was just thinking, What the Hell?
Then, Pauly hit my nerve and said, "I love it when people with Tourettes scream obsenities! It's so funny!"
I stated that I was leaving, so I turned around, started walking away, then told him, "Bye, I don't like you."
He shouted, "Sorry!" after me, and I felt kind of bad, but he was an imbucile anyways. I didn't want to talk to him. He was stupid.
What did he expect? "Like, yeah, um, totally, bro. I just have Tourettes when I'm holding on to a pole. Heh heh, yeah, cool, right? I know, I think it's funny when peeps with the TS cuss too!"
LOL, no.
I understand he wasn't making fun of me or anything, but sometimes I just don't like to deal with dumb people. I'm not saying he's dumb because he didn't really know what TS was- which he kind of did because he knows kids that have it can say cuss words sometimes, but... TS only on a pole. Really? I don't think so.
I didn't get that mad at him, and it wasn't that big of a deal, but I've never had a conversation quite like that about Tourettes.
At least I have good friends. My buddy, *AJ, walked away with me from the guy who had tried to throw money at me earlier. I told them I was leaving, then AJ decided he was coming with me, and that he would stick with me. What a great friend.(:
Yesterday, my family and I went to a farm to do some fun activities, and one of them was horseback riding. I absolutely LOVE riding horses, but when I asked my mom if I could take a few equestrian lessons, she said no.
Because I have Tourettes.
I understand she didn't like the idea of me taking my hands off the saddle a few times during high speeds, but I can ride a dirtbike, and dirtbikes are way faster than horses. If I'm distracted from TS I can handle doing a bunch of things.
People with Tourettes can do the same stuff that other people can.
I've never really been sure about how my skills will be with driving, but look at that guy with Tourettes who is going to race a Go-Kart for twenty four hours straight and break a record to raise awareness about TS.
I am determined to be able to do anything everyone else can do.
I ride dirtbikes instead of bikes because they require more focus. Focus means thinking about one thing. A distraction from Tourette Syndrome.
I can accomplish all things when God is with me... which is always.
I have never known what it feels like to be normal.
I mean, to know what it feels like to not have to tic constantly.
And if I try to embrace a moment where I am not ticcing, I will tic.
It's really hard to explain.
I want to know what it feels like being normal before I die. I don't remember how it felt when I was four... all of those memories have either faded away or are replaced with tics while I remember them.
Tourettes supposedly makes me special. Rare. Especially since I'm a girl with Tourettes... but I want to know what it feels like to not have a little monster barking orders in my head for once.
Please donate to help to find a cure for Tourettes.
I hate living with this demon inside of me.
Go to
http://tsa-usa.org/
and donate now.(:
Emma<3
P.S. Follow me on Twitter! @emmarockin
Long time, no see!
Highschool has kept me really busy...
The other night, I was at a football game. It was my friends' homecoming game, and I had missed my homecoming game to go to the lake for *Holly's birthday, so I went to this one.
Yes, I do get a bit apprehensive about going to places and hanging out with people while standing up, since I have to squat all the time. One of my friend's friends whispered something about me being a whore after I bent down, but I wasn't sure what I had heard, so I asked. He had called me a whore because it looked like a slutty move. Just squatting. Yeah, great reason to call someone a whore! I mean, just the other week I got called a prude...
Anyways, I just said, "I have Tourettes..."
I know he was just joking around, but I did it a few more times, all the time trying to restrain myself, and he pulled out his wallet shouting, "Make it rain!"
I was offended, so I eventually left them to visit my other friend.
I hadn't seen *Drake, the guy I walked over to visit after my street walker experience, in a long time. He was standing with his friend *Pauly, so I scooted inbetween them. It was the first time I had formally met Pauly- I mean, I had seen him around in my middle school, but I never knew who he was. Lucky former me.
We talked a little bit, and I held on the the metal fence while I bent down.
Pauly gave the normal response: Giggle, giggle. "What was that?! Hahaha!"
Drake and I told him that I had Tourettes.
Pauly said, "Oh, that! So, do you only have it when you're on a pole?"
I thought he was joking, so I laughed, but when I saw his face he was expecting an answer.
I raised my eyebrows and replied, "Um, no."
"But, you bent down holding on to the pole," he pointed out, nodding to the metal fence I was gripping.
"Yeah," I replied, "but I still have it when I'm not holding on to a pole."
Pauly looked slightly confused. "But, what do you do when you don't have a pole?"
"Huh?"
"When you don't have a pole to hold on to?"
I was really surprised by then, since it was honestly one of the weirdest conversations I had ever had about Tourettes.
I tried to end it by saying that I had TS even when I wasn't on a pole.
In my head, I was just thinking, What the Hell?
Then, Pauly hit my nerve and said, "I love it when people with Tourettes scream obsenities! It's so funny!"
I stated that I was leaving, so I turned around, started walking away, then told him, "Bye, I don't like you."
He shouted, "Sorry!" after me, and I felt kind of bad, but he was an imbucile anyways. I didn't want to talk to him. He was stupid.
What did he expect? "Like, yeah, um, totally, bro. I just have Tourettes when I'm holding on to a pole. Heh heh, yeah, cool, right? I know, I think it's funny when peeps with the TS cuss too!"
LOL, no.
I understand he wasn't making fun of me or anything, but sometimes I just don't like to deal with dumb people. I'm not saying he's dumb because he didn't really know what TS was- which he kind of did because he knows kids that have it can say cuss words sometimes, but... TS only on a pole. Really? I don't think so.
I didn't get that mad at him, and it wasn't that big of a deal, but I've never had a conversation quite like that about Tourettes.
At least I have good friends. My buddy, *AJ, walked away with me from the guy who had tried to throw money at me earlier. I told them I was leaving, then AJ decided he was coming with me, and that he would stick with me. What a great friend.(:
Yesterday, my family and I went to a farm to do some fun activities, and one of them was horseback riding. I absolutely LOVE riding horses, but when I asked my mom if I could take a few equestrian lessons, she said no.
Because I have Tourettes.
I understand she didn't like the idea of me taking my hands off the saddle a few times during high speeds, but I can ride a dirtbike, and dirtbikes are way faster than horses. If I'm distracted from TS I can handle doing a bunch of things.
People with Tourettes can do the same stuff that other people can.
I've never really been sure about how my skills will be with driving, but look at that guy with Tourettes who is going to race a Go-Kart for twenty four hours straight and break a record to raise awareness about TS.
I am determined to be able to do anything everyone else can do.
I ride dirtbikes instead of bikes because they require more focus. Focus means thinking about one thing. A distraction from Tourette Syndrome.
I can accomplish all things when God is with me... which is always.
I have never known what it feels like to be normal.
I mean, to know what it feels like to not have to tic constantly.
And if I try to embrace a moment where I am not ticcing, I will tic.
It's really hard to explain.
I want to know what it feels like being normal before I die. I don't remember how it felt when I was four... all of those memories have either faded away or are replaced with tics while I remember them.
Tourettes supposedly makes me special. Rare. Especially since I'm a girl with Tourettes... but I want to know what it feels like to not have a little monster barking orders in my head for once.
Please donate to help to find a cure for Tourettes.
I hate living with this demon inside of me.
Go to
http://tsa-usa.org/
and donate now.(:
Emma<3
P.S. Follow me on Twitter! @emmarockin
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sing it!
Hey Yinz!
So, I just got back from a chorus meeting. It was a test grade, yada, yada.
When I got there, we had to meet in between two trailers and line up with our group (Alto, Second Soprano, First Soprano). I am a first soprano, so I lined up along with my group.
There has always been this one girl, *Lily (*name changed), who has always been strangely negative towards me and other people sometimes, but is a sophomore loved by a lot of the other chorus members, and tons of people think she's so cute. I never really thought much of her snappiness and putting people down.
One time, when the girl next to her lent me a pair of scissors, and when I was done with them, I offered them back, because I thought they belonged to her.
"Really? Pass them to the front! Is it that hard to pass scissors?" Lily exclaimed.
I always brushed off the things that she said.
They were stupid; she was stupid.
She even randomly went off insulting people and muttering remarks about them behind their backs. I just let it go. Sadly, I have no choice but to sit in front of her, since she is in my vocal group, and we all have assigned seats.
Tonight, we all lined up, and I kept bending down, because that's one of my tics.
The girl next to me said, "Why are you doing that?"
"Tourettes," I replied quickly.
Lily caught my attention, then twitched her head violently, and exclaimed, "Sh**! That's cool!" She laughed and went on, "Oh, sorry, I had to do that."
It wasn't a sincere sorry, just a joking around type of sorry...
But, I know she doesn't understand. Goodness, how many times do I say that on here? Tons.
I've always thought about moments with mean girls in high school when I was younger; what I would say... what I would do... but, right then and there, in the moment, I was highly offended, yet had nothing to say.
People started asking, "Is that true?", "Do you have Tourettes?", "You have Tourettes?", "Really?"
I just nodded.
"So, do you cuss and slap people?" an upperclassman asked.
"No," I replied.
Tears were brimming in my eyes because of what Lily had said. I was surprised, since I hadn't been feeling any extreme emotions from her ignorant comment.
Strong, Emma, I thought, Just keep strong. You are strong.
I didn't let one tear leave their ducts. Strong, strong, strong. Just. Keep. Strong.
The rest of the night was alright, even though I got a bit anxious during the meeting, but it was all fine.
By the way, I just turned 14 on the first of September.(:
Brush it off, she's not worth it, move on.
Stand up for yourself, don't let them walk over you.
Remember, Just. Keep. Strong.
Love,
Emma<3
Monday, September 5, 2011
Labor Day!
Hi People!
So... a lot has gone on lately. High school has been great, and today is Labor Day.
I wrote a poem-type thing, but it is stored on my laptop, which I am not on right now, so I will post it some other time.
So... life.
High school, as I said, has been great. There is this one girl in Chorus that irks me though. She is a sophomore and everyone loves her, but she is very negative towards me. I just don't deal with that crap.
Last weekend, Hurricane Irene came. I was at home, about to leave for a football game which was later cancelled, when my best friend, *Holly (*name changed), invited me to her lake house. It's north of where I live, so I thought, "Hey, what the heck! I can just avoid the hurricane up there!" So, I kissed my family goodbye and went to her lake house.
Boy, was I wrong.
There was a ton of wind and rain pounding down on the earth with brutal force. Holly's mom screamed when a tree came down on the power lines in front of their house. And then we lost power. Her parents pulled out the generator, Thank God, so we got to watch the news, and then a movie.
There was one phone in the house that worked, because it was hooked up to the wall. My iPhone has AT&T, so I don't get service at the lake, and Holly's phone was dead. So, I used the wall phone to call my parents.
"Hey mom! How is it down there? We have lots of rain and wind and a tree fell down right in front of the house!"
"Oh, wow! Well, we haven't seen a drop of rain. It's sunny."
Of course.
But at least I got to make origami and play boardgames with Holly, like people used to do in the old times. Ha. Boardgames. More like Boredgames.
By the way, Twister is really hard to play when a puppy is running into you 24/7.
We still had a good time though, and on Monday we went back to school. Yes, I survived my first week of high school. My birthday was on Thursday, September 1st. I got some money, and my parents bought me "Sims 3" and some clothes. Also, they ordered me a new laptop battery, which I think is an essential, not a gift. You should be able to get a laptop battery whenever you need one. But I was grateful for everything I got.
This weekend, being Labor Day weekend, I went up to Lake Gaston, which is where Holly's lake house is located. But, I went up with my *Aunt Veronica, otherwise known as "Aunt Ronnie", her husband *Uncle Jermajesty, their kids, *Bucket and *Shania, *Sha-nay-nay (AKA Missy G) and her husband *Tim, plus their two kids *Kat and *Breezer. Of course my family came up too. (*names changed)
Shania and my brother, Sam, are really good friends. Shania is 7, and Sam is 8. Shania's little brother, Bucket, is 3. I think Kat is 11, and Breezer is 8.
Anyways, we were all having fun, and the parents were inside the house, while I was outside with the kids. Sha-nay-nay and her family hadn't gotten there yet, so it was just Aunt Ronnie's family and mine. Sam was wearing one of Bucket's life vests, and Bucket kept whining to me that he wanted it back or else he would sink in the water. I kept playing with my mom's camera, taking pictures of him and the other kids. Then, Bucket ran off while I was viewing the pictures. I heard a splash, then gurgled screams. It took me a second to realize what was going on, but then I sprinted towards the deck, threw my mom's camera on a chair, and jumped into the water. Bucket had been horrified and his bright orange shirt looked like a mushroom floating in the water. His head was almost under, so I grabbed him and swam towards the ladder, which isn't as easy as it sounds. Bucket isn't exactly a baby anymore. He didn't swallow any water, so I rushed him up to his parents. I didn't think he would jump in, since he had already acknowledged the fact he would sink.
Yeah, super life saver heroic person award goes to Emma! I know, I know. Thank you. I was just really glad Bucket was safe.
Ha, yeah, wanna make fun of the Tourettes kid now that she saved a life? That reminds me, I was thinking of doing a Tourettes Girl YouTube channel to show up the Tourettes Guy. I'd make a bunch of inspirational videos, and just some things that show that even though I have Tourettes, I'm pretty normal. Although, I don't like the word normal. I always say "Never strive for normal. Be better than normal."
Later, while on the dock, everyone was discussing sleeping arrangements, and Aunt Ronnie offered to sleep with me. The house was a bit cramped for twelve people.
I rejected the offer, since I didn't want to ruin her sleep. I clap a lot during the night, because that is one of my Tourettes prime times, so I just offered to sleep with Kat and Breezer on an air mattress. It ended up Breezer laying down on the couch, and Kat with me on the mattress. Whenever I would clap, Breezer would yell at me to stop. I told her I couldn't help it since I have Tourettes, and Kat said the same thing, but Breezer kept yelling at me.
Clap, clap, clap!
Irritated screams
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you maniac!"
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you crazy person!"
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you weirdo!"
It eventually got to the point where Kat and I just ignored her whining.
I totally understand that she is only 8 and doesn't understand why I was clapping. I get it. Trust me, ever since I was five, I've come across hundreds of people who don't understand what I'm going through, and don't know how to deal with it.
I love watching TV with Holly, though. My OCD makes me ask all of these questions and she never gets mad. My parents, on the other hand, are extremely irritated by my question asking. I try really hard not to ask the questions, and sometimes I can actually hold it back and push it to the deep depths of my brain.
Anyways, the next day, I met up with Holly at Goat Island to go to her lake house. Goat Island got its name for a very literal reason. A bunch of goats inhabit it.
That night, I went to a party with Holly and her family. It was fun, but there was this twelve year old kid who was one of those non-understanders. This is why I must educate the population about Tourettes Syndrome.
We were playing football, and it hit my head, but he picked it up.
I'm not sure if I've gone over this yet, but whenever someone or something touches my head, chest, or wrist, I have to blow on whatever touched me. It's strange, I know. But, when I was younger it used to kind of be a game, which makes me wonder if I started it. If I triggered the OCD. I used to pretend that whatever touched those main arteries had my chi, which is the word for your natural energy. It's some Chinese thing. But, I would blow it up to God or something. It was strange. Maybe even then that was part of my OCD and I didn't know it at that point.
But, that's not the only time that has happened. When I was little, I also used to pretend that on one side of my mouth was a very rich family, and the other side was a very poor one, and I would even out how many bites I would take, but I would sometimes give more to the rich family, since they were rich and had a huge money vault, and if I gave all of it to the poor, then they wouldn't be poor. Sometimes, I'd give more to the poor family since they were struggling. I also would sometimes pretend there were two bright white molar towers, and every time I took a bite on one side, that side's tower would grow a bit. I kept making things equal. I'm sure I didn't give myself those parts of the OCD, but it's still a coincidence that those little games would turn into something that would affect me for the rest of my life.
Anyways, way off topic, Emma!
The twelve year old who stole the football... right. I just kind of sat still on the edge of one of the golf carts, and tried really hard not to have to go blow on the ball. Sometimes it feels like a little piece of my brain goes missing, or it drains out, and I have to get it back.
Holly tried to get it from him.
"Seriously, brah! I need that football!" she told him.
But, Holly, some other girls and I had been tackling him for the football and running away with it, so he didn't trust us. Eventually, one of the other girls gave him his hat back, which he was bargaining to trade the ball for, so he tossed Holly the ball. I blew really hard on it and threw it into the lake. This happened a few times, and then he intentionally poked me in the head even after we told him that he couldn't touch my head. I tried really hard not to get mad.
He doesn't understand, Emma. He doesn't understand. But, when someone tells you not to do something, you shouldn't do it. They might blog about it.(;
"He's trying to be funny," Holly whispered to me.
I rolled my eyes, which I seem to do a lot. He was failing miserably at being cute and funny. It was all a joke to him.
"Hey, can I have your finger real quick?" I asked without thinking.
We all giggled and I just mumbled, "Uh, never mind."
But, Holly eventually grabbed his wrist, which was balled up in a fist, so all I blew on was his knuckles, not the fingertip that touched me. Whatever. I tried hard not to do it anyways.
The party was still fun though, and had really good food. The night ended well, with Holly and I falling asleep on the couches in her garage loft.
I know. I know that you don't know. I get it. I get it that you don't get it. I understand. I understand that you don't understand.
Yeah, well you know what they say...
Life's A Twitch.
Emma<3
So... a lot has gone on lately. High school has been great, and today is Labor Day.
I wrote a poem-type thing, but it is stored on my laptop, which I am not on right now, so I will post it some other time.
So... life.
High school, as I said, has been great. There is this one girl in Chorus that irks me though. She is a sophomore and everyone loves her, but she is very negative towards me. I just don't deal with that crap.
Last weekend, Hurricane Irene came. I was at home, about to leave for a football game which was later cancelled, when my best friend, *Holly (*name changed), invited me to her lake house. It's north of where I live, so I thought, "Hey, what the heck! I can just avoid the hurricane up there!" So, I kissed my family goodbye and went to her lake house.
Boy, was I wrong.
There was a ton of wind and rain pounding down on the earth with brutal force. Holly's mom screamed when a tree came down on the power lines in front of their house. And then we lost power. Her parents pulled out the generator, Thank God, so we got to watch the news, and then a movie.
There was one phone in the house that worked, because it was hooked up to the wall. My iPhone has AT&T, so I don't get service at the lake, and Holly's phone was dead. So, I used the wall phone to call my parents.
"Hey mom! How is it down there? We have lots of rain and wind and a tree fell down right in front of the house!"
"Oh, wow! Well, we haven't seen a drop of rain. It's sunny."
Of course.
But at least I got to make origami and play boardgames with Holly, like people used to do in the old times. Ha. Boardgames. More like Boredgames.
By the way, Twister is really hard to play when a puppy is running into you 24/7.
We still had a good time though, and on Monday we went back to school. Yes, I survived my first week of high school. My birthday was on Thursday, September 1st. I got some money, and my parents bought me "Sims 3" and some clothes. Also, they ordered me a new laptop battery, which I think is an essential, not a gift. You should be able to get a laptop battery whenever you need one. But I was grateful for everything I got.
This weekend, being Labor Day weekend, I went up to Lake Gaston, which is where Holly's lake house is located. But, I went up with my *Aunt Veronica, otherwise known as "Aunt Ronnie", her husband *Uncle Jermajesty, their kids, *Bucket and *Shania, *Sha-nay-nay (AKA Missy G) and her husband *Tim, plus their two kids *Kat and *Breezer. Of course my family came up too. (*names changed)
Shania and my brother, Sam, are really good friends. Shania is 7, and Sam is 8. Shania's little brother, Bucket, is 3. I think Kat is 11, and Breezer is 8.
Anyways, we were all having fun, and the parents were inside the house, while I was outside with the kids. Sha-nay-nay and her family hadn't gotten there yet, so it was just Aunt Ronnie's family and mine. Sam was wearing one of Bucket's life vests, and Bucket kept whining to me that he wanted it back or else he would sink in the water. I kept playing with my mom's camera, taking pictures of him and the other kids. Then, Bucket ran off while I was viewing the pictures. I heard a splash, then gurgled screams. It took me a second to realize what was going on, but then I sprinted towards the deck, threw my mom's camera on a chair, and jumped into the water. Bucket had been horrified and his bright orange shirt looked like a mushroom floating in the water. His head was almost under, so I grabbed him and swam towards the ladder, which isn't as easy as it sounds. Bucket isn't exactly a baby anymore. He didn't swallow any water, so I rushed him up to his parents. I didn't think he would jump in, since he had already acknowledged the fact he would sink.
Yeah, super life saver heroic person award goes to Emma! I know, I know. Thank you. I was just really glad Bucket was safe.
Ha, yeah, wanna make fun of the Tourettes kid now that she saved a life? That reminds me, I was thinking of doing a Tourettes Girl YouTube channel to show up the Tourettes Guy. I'd make a bunch of inspirational videos, and just some things that show that even though I have Tourettes, I'm pretty normal. Although, I don't like the word normal. I always say "Never strive for normal. Be better than normal."
Later, while on the dock, everyone was discussing sleeping arrangements, and Aunt Ronnie offered to sleep with me. The house was a bit cramped for twelve people.
I rejected the offer, since I didn't want to ruin her sleep. I clap a lot during the night, because that is one of my Tourettes prime times, so I just offered to sleep with Kat and Breezer on an air mattress. It ended up Breezer laying down on the couch, and Kat with me on the mattress. Whenever I would clap, Breezer would yell at me to stop. I told her I couldn't help it since I have Tourettes, and Kat said the same thing, but Breezer kept yelling at me.
Clap, clap, clap!
Irritated screams
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you maniac!"
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you crazy person!"
Clap, clap, clap!
"Stop, you weirdo!"
It eventually got to the point where Kat and I just ignored her whining.
I totally understand that she is only 8 and doesn't understand why I was clapping. I get it. Trust me, ever since I was five, I've come across hundreds of people who don't understand what I'm going through, and don't know how to deal with it.
I love watching TV with Holly, though. My OCD makes me ask all of these questions and she never gets mad. My parents, on the other hand, are extremely irritated by my question asking. I try really hard not to ask the questions, and sometimes I can actually hold it back and push it to the deep depths of my brain.
Anyways, the next day, I met up with Holly at Goat Island to go to her lake house. Goat Island got its name for a very literal reason. A bunch of goats inhabit it.
That night, I went to a party with Holly and her family. It was fun, but there was this twelve year old kid who was one of those non-understanders. This is why I must educate the population about Tourettes Syndrome.
We were playing football, and it hit my head, but he picked it up.
I'm not sure if I've gone over this yet, but whenever someone or something touches my head, chest, or wrist, I have to blow on whatever touched me. It's strange, I know. But, when I was younger it used to kind of be a game, which makes me wonder if I started it. If I triggered the OCD. I used to pretend that whatever touched those main arteries had my chi, which is the word for your natural energy. It's some Chinese thing. But, I would blow it up to God or something. It was strange. Maybe even then that was part of my OCD and I didn't know it at that point.
But, that's not the only time that has happened. When I was little, I also used to pretend that on one side of my mouth was a very rich family, and the other side was a very poor one, and I would even out how many bites I would take, but I would sometimes give more to the rich family, since they were rich and had a huge money vault, and if I gave all of it to the poor, then they wouldn't be poor. Sometimes, I'd give more to the poor family since they were struggling. I also would sometimes pretend there were two bright white molar towers, and every time I took a bite on one side, that side's tower would grow a bit. I kept making things equal. I'm sure I didn't give myself those parts of the OCD, but it's still a coincidence that those little games would turn into something that would affect me for the rest of my life.
Anyways, way off topic, Emma!
The twelve year old who stole the football... right. I just kind of sat still on the edge of one of the golf carts, and tried really hard not to have to go blow on the ball. Sometimes it feels like a little piece of my brain goes missing, or it drains out, and I have to get it back.
Holly tried to get it from him.
"Seriously, brah! I need that football!" she told him.
But, Holly, some other girls and I had been tackling him for the football and running away with it, so he didn't trust us. Eventually, one of the other girls gave him his hat back, which he was bargaining to trade the ball for, so he tossed Holly the ball. I blew really hard on it and threw it into the lake. This happened a few times, and then he intentionally poked me in the head even after we told him that he couldn't touch my head. I tried really hard not to get mad.
He doesn't understand, Emma. He doesn't understand. But, when someone tells you not to do something, you shouldn't do it. They might blog about it.(;
"He's trying to be funny," Holly whispered to me.
I rolled my eyes, which I seem to do a lot. He was failing miserably at being cute and funny. It was all a joke to him.
"Hey, can I have your finger real quick?" I asked without thinking.
We all giggled and I just mumbled, "Uh, never mind."
But, Holly eventually grabbed his wrist, which was balled up in a fist, so all I blew on was his knuckles, not the fingertip that touched me. Whatever. I tried hard not to do it anyways.
The party was still fun though, and had really good food. The night ended well, with Holly and I falling asleep on the couches in her garage loft.
I know. I know that you don't know. I get it. I get it that you don't get it. I understand. I understand that you don't understand.
Yeah, well you know what they say...
Life's A Twitch.
Emma<3
Friday, August 26, 2011
Kickin' it with Troy, Gabriella, and Sharpay
Hellooo Viewers!
Yesterday was my first day of high school.
It.
Is.
AWESOME.
I love it! I was really worried, but now I'm not. I know where my classes are, and I actually haven't gotten made fun of yet. Let me give you my synopsis of the past two days.
First Day!
I had the jitters in the morning since I had no idea where I was going. Before school started, people would ask me, "Are you excited for high school?"
My reply would be, "No."
Sometimes to people I don't really know that well I'd say, "Oh yeah, I guess. Excited and nervous, you know. Just school. Another year... yeah." *Polite Smile*
I know this sounds weird, but I'm really unhappy I didn't get my picture in front of my front door on the first day. We forgot. I guess I'm kind of OCD about that, and it's really bothering me. Well, you can't go back in time... yet.
So, my dad dropped me off, both of us oblivious we forgot to take my picture... and I trudged over to the front of the school. I met up with a few friends there, and we walked around a little bit. An upperclassman pointed out where my homeroom was. It is in a pod, which is across the junior parking lot, and let me tell you, juniors aren't good drivers... at all. Well, I guess they're okay, but even in Cougar Camp, some students told me that the trek to the pods is a dangerous one, and that you could probably get hit walking there. Well, I crossed the parking lot and survived. No, please. Hold your applause. My homeroom was kind of small, but at least I knew four people there already. I'm not very close to them though. Homeroom was a bit boring, we kind of just sat there and got updated schedules. The kids who didn't already get their agendas got them, and our homeroom teacher just let us talk a bit. So, I sat with my friends and we talked for almost all of homeroom, which isn't really a long time since homeroom is short.
Next, I had to go to Healthful Living. My schedule said to go to the Main Gym, so I did... and then they directed me to Trailer 2. Thankfully, my health teacher does not believe in homework. Hallelujah!
After that, I had Chorus, which thankfully is in Trailer 5, which is really close to Trailer 2. Plus, the trailers are right outside of the Main Gym, so even when I have gym, my first two classes will be really close together! Tons of students told me that the chorus teacher is a nightmare and a psycho and whatnot. But, I love her! She is amazing and really funny! Also, we get to go on a trip to Atlanta, Georgia in March and stay at a Hyatt. Then, we get to perform at some place. Plus we get to go to Six Flags and an aquarium! It is going to be so much fun! I know we are doing more on that trip, but it's just slipping my mind right now. I love chorus! It is my favorite class! Oh yeah, that's right. Real life High School Musical, ladies and gentlemen! Well, we don't really burst out in song, but I love music and plan on doing all the plays and musicals.
After that awesome class, I had lunch. I got the first lunch of the day, which I'm happy about. My chorus teacher told the upperclassmen to group with us and take us to lunch, so an upperclassman accompanied me to lunch, and when I saw my friends I said goodbye to her. Lunch was fun too. I got to sit with my friends outside in the courtyard. It was a beautiful, sunny day. After eating, me and one of my friends inspected the cafeteria. It was absolutely filled with people! I don't understand why they didn't want to eat outside, because ever since elementary school I've fantasized about having lunch outside. I don't know why, but it always seemed so cool to me.
After lunch, I had Algebra 1: Part 1. It was elementary. Not the school... but the word. I mean it was easy. That's probably because we are just starting school and they aren't going too hard on us, but my math teacher seemed pretty cool. She was nice and not extremely strict. The class wasn't too far away from the courtyard where I eat lunch. Plus, I got to sit in one of those desks I've always wanted to have class in. Yes, I have always looked forward to sitting in the desks that are connected to the chairs, have a shelf under the chair, and an arm rest. Yes, that is exciting to me. Don't judge.
My last class of the day was Honors English 1. I think the teacher may be going easy on us since we're just starting out, but it was fun. I sat behind my friend, and we had a fun time. The teacher seem really nice, and she loves her dog.
When the bell rang, I walked to the front of the school. There was a whiteboard there that told us where our buses were, so I hurried over to my bus and got driven home. The busdriver didn't take me to the correct stop, though. She was on the wrong street, but I didn't complain because it was the same stop as my middle school one. This year, it's supposed be a lot closer, exactly where my elementary school bus stop was.
But, when I got home, I got in this really terrible mood even though my day was great. I laid down on the couch and my mood just got worse and worse. I felt like it was going down, down, down. Sugar, we're goin' down, down, to another town. Yeah, that's a song. Anyways, I felt like there was a bunch of weights on the front of my body, and I felt all this pressure. But, my mood got better later and we went to Pizza Inn, my favorite pizza place. I already went to my favorite restaurant, La Rancherita, the day before, so that's why we didn't go there.
I'm pretty sure I haven't mentioned this, but at my Sweet Sixteen, La Rancherita and Pizza Inn will be catering. At my wedding, I will have a queso cheese fountain. Trust me, I will.
So, all in all, it was a great day.
Second Day!
Today was great, again.
When I walked into Chorus, my teacher was eating chocolates.
Hungarian Chocolates.
She gave one to some girl and said, "So, these are Hungarian Chocolates. I can't read Hungarian, so tell me what flavor that one is."
I spoke up, "Um, I will gladly be a taste tester sampler person."
So, she gave me one and I think it had a fig in it. It tasted alright. I kept the wrapper since it was written in Hungarian. I think it looks really cool.
Don't you?
After my amazing Chorus class, I went to lunch where I sat in the shade, which was pretty nice. Math and English were easy again.
The only times I got semi-made fun of, was twice when these kids called out, "FRESHMAN!"
It wasn't a big deal... but I guess I look like this:
Hurricane Irene is coming in, and I'm leaving really soon for the lake with my friend Megan!
Please pray for North Carolina.
Thank you,
Emma<3
Yesterday was my first day of high school.
It.
Is.
AWESOME.
I love it! I was really worried, but now I'm not. I know where my classes are, and I actually haven't gotten made fun of yet. Let me give you my synopsis of the past two days.
First Day!
I had the jitters in the morning since I had no idea where I was going. Before school started, people would ask me, "Are you excited for high school?"
My reply would be, "No."
Sometimes to people I don't really know that well I'd say, "Oh yeah, I guess. Excited and nervous, you know. Just school. Another year... yeah." *Polite Smile*
I know this sounds weird, but I'm really unhappy I didn't get my picture in front of my front door on the first day. We forgot. I guess I'm kind of OCD about that, and it's really bothering me. Well, you can't go back in time... yet.
So, my dad dropped me off, both of us oblivious we forgot to take my picture... and I trudged over to the front of the school. I met up with a few friends there, and we walked around a little bit. An upperclassman pointed out where my homeroom was. It is in a pod, which is across the junior parking lot, and let me tell you, juniors aren't good drivers... at all. Well, I guess they're okay, but even in Cougar Camp, some students told me that the trek to the pods is a dangerous one, and that you could probably get hit walking there. Well, I crossed the parking lot and survived. No, please. Hold your applause. My homeroom was kind of small, but at least I knew four people there already. I'm not very close to them though. Homeroom was a bit boring, we kind of just sat there and got updated schedules. The kids who didn't already get their agendas got them, and our homeroom teacher just let us talk a bit. So, I sat with my friends and we talked for almost all of homeroom, which isn't really a long time since homeroom is short.
Next, I had to go to Healthful Living. My schedule said to go to the Main Gym, so I did... and then they directed me to Trailer 2. Thankfully, my health teacher does not believe in homework. Hallelujah!
After that, I had Chorus, which thankfully is in Trailer 5, which is really close to Trailer 2. Plus, the trailers are right outside of the Main Gym, so even when I have gym, my first two classes will be really close together! Tons of students told me that the chorus teacher is a nightmare and a psycho and whatnot. But, I love her! She is amazing and really funny! Also, we get to go on a trip to Atlanta, Georgia in March and stay at a Hyatt. Then, we get to perform at some place. Plus we get to go to Six Flags and an aquarium! It is going to be so much fun! I know we are doing more on that trip, but it's just slipping my mind right now. I love chorus! It is my favorite class! Oh yeah, that's right. Real life High School Musical, ladies and gentlemen! Well, we don't really burst out in song, but I love music and plan on doing all the plays and musicals.
After that awesome class, I had lunch. I got the first lunch of the day, which I'm happy about. My chorus teacher told the upperclassmen to group with us and take us to lunch, so an upperclassman accompanied me to lunch, and when I saw my friends I said goodbye to her. Lunch was fun too. I got to sit with my friends outside in the courtyard. It was a beautiful, sunny day. After eating, me and one of my friends inspected the cafeteria. It was absolutely filled with people! I don't understand why they didn't want to eat outside, because ever since elementary school I've fantasized about having lunch outside. I don't know why, but it always seemed so cool to me.
After lunch, I had Algebra 1: Part 1. It was elementary. Not the school... but the word. I mean it was easy. That's probably because we are just starting school and they aren't going too hard on us, but my math teacher seemed pretty cool. She was nice and not extremely strict. The class wasn't too far away from the courtyard where I eat lunch. Plus, I got to sit in one of those desks I've always wanted to have class in. Yes, I have always looked forward to sitting in the desks that are connected to the chairs, have a shelf under the chair, and an arm rest. Yes, that is exciting to me. Don't judge.
My last class of the day was Honors English 1. I think the teacher may be going easy on us since we're just starting out, but it was fun. I sat behind my friend, and we had a fun time. The teacher seem really nice, and she loves her dog.
When the bell rang, I walked to the front of the school. There was a whiteboard there that told us where our buses were, so I hurried over to my bus and got driven home. The busdriver didn't take me to the correct stop, though. She was on the wrong street, but I didn't complain because it was the same stop as my middle school one. This year, it's supposed be a lot closer, exactly where my elementary school bus stop was.
But, when I got home, I got in this really terrible mood even though my day was great. I laid down on the couch and my mood just got worse and worse. I felt like it was going down, down, down. Sugar, we're goin' down, down, to another town. Yeah, that's a song. Anyways, I felt like there was a bunch of weights on the front of my body, and I felt all this pressure. But, my mood got better later and we went to Pizza Inn, my favorite pizza place. I already went to my favorite restaurant, La Rancherita, the day before, so that's why we didn't go there.
I'm pretty sure I haven't mentioned this, but at my Sweet Sixteen, La Rancherita and Pizza Inn will be catering. At my wedding, I will have a queso cheese fountain. Trust me, I will.
So, all in all, it was a great day.
Second Day!
Today was great, again.
When I walked into Chorus, my teacher was eating chocolates.
Hungarian Chocolates.
She gave one to some girl and said, "So, these are Hungarian Chocolates. I can't read Hungarian, so tell me what flavor that one is."
I spoke up, "Um, I will gladly be a taste tester sampler person."
So, she gave me one and I think it had a fig in it. It tasted alright. I kept the wrapper since it was written in Hungarian. I think it looks really cool.
Don't you?
The only times I got semi-made fun of, was twice when these kids called out, "FRESHMAN!"
It wasn't a big deal... but I guess I look like this:
Please pray for North Carolina.
Thank you,
Emma<3
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tic Tock
Hi.
I want to say thank you to my mom for letting me blog at this hour... 10pm.
I am going to high school in a matter of hours, and something just occurred to me that I haven't been worried about... but I am worried about right now.
Tourette Syndrome.
I've been so caught up in "Where am I going?" and "How will I know how to get to this place?" when really, my biggest worry just came to me.
How are my teachers to know what Tourettes is and how to handle it?
What if I get in trouble for ticcing in class?
What if they don't understand when I try to explain myself?
I'll probably end up clapping during class and the teacher will get annoyed.
Emma, how did you make it in the past years?
Well, my mom usually gives the guidance counselor a DVD to watch about Tourettes and also give to my other teachers to watch. She gives them a bunch of information about it each year, but this year she didn't give the DVD to my guidance counselor.
It's not her fault. Apparently my mom has to talk to some other person about it, and they were supposed to call her and set up some meeting, but has that happened? No.
So, now I'm going into high school, where not only the students will judge me and nag me about why I'm making these movements (I know they are curious and don't understand) and maybe even won't want to be around me because I'm "weird", but the teachers won't understand either.
I constantly get comments about my Tourettes. It's tiring explaining it to everyone. Sometimes people think they know what it is, but they have the wrong idea.
I know I will probably get made fun of, and maybe people won't even bother to get to know me, but I can't stand that the teachers who are supposed to be reliable adults you can count on won't understand why I clap or bend down or cough constantly and all of the other countless tics I have.
I'm so nervous.
I'm trying to pray to God, but I'm having troubles and doubts right now.
Emma<3
I want to say thank you to my mom for letting me blog at this hour... 10pm.
I am going to high school in a matter of hours, and something just occurred to me that I haven't been worried about... but I am worried about right now.
Tourette Syndrome.
I've been so caught up in "Where am I going?" and "How will I know how to get to this place?" when really, my biggest worry just came to me.
How are my teachers to know what Tourettes is and how to handle it?
What if I get in trouble for ticcing in class?
What if they don't understand when I try to explain myself?
I'll probably end up clapping during class and the teacher will get annoyed.
Emma, how did you make it in the past years?
Well, my mom usually gives the guidance counselor a DVD to watch about Tourettes and also give to my other teachers to watch. She gives them a bunch of information about it each year, but this year she didn't give the DVD to my guidance counselor.
It's not her fault. Apparently my mom has to talk to some other person about it, and they were supposed to call her and set up some meeting, but has that happened? No.
So, now I'm going into high school, where not only the students will judge me and nag me about why I'm making these movements (I know they are curious and don't understand) and maybe even won't want to be around me because I'm "weird", but the teachers won't understand either.
I constantly get comments about my Tourettes. It's tiring explaining it to everyone. Sometimes people think they know what it is, but they have the wrong idea.
I know I will probably get made fun of, and maybe people won't even bother to get to know me, but I can't stand that the teachers who are supposed to be reliable adults you can count on won't understand why I clap or bend down or cough constantly and all of the other countless tics I have.
I'm so nervous.
I'm trying to pray to God, but I'm having troubles and doubts right now.
Emma<3
The Final Chapter ... Of Summer
Hello people!
I start high school tomorrow.
I know, I know. Amazing, right? Hold your applause.
But, I'm really stressed about it. There are around 4 to 5 different buildings, and I have to walk from building to building each day and it's confusing. The upperclassmen told me that my teachers are ... interesting, and that I only have one good one.
I really want to sign up for Photography Club and Drama Club, so I'm excited about that. I looked around on the high school website for dates for auditions and everything, but I didn't know if they were based on the past year or this year, so I e-mailed the drama teacher.
My mom said that it's hard the first day, but then it's just like transitioning to elementary school or middle school.
My response was that this school has a bigger campus with more buildings to get lost in, and there's more work and it's harder, and AGHH!
Looking at everything, all in all, there isn't an extreme amount to be worried about. It's not like college, where you have an even larger campus, and have to live on your own, and worry about a job, and AGHH!
But, in high school you have to worry about college, and then getting a job, and everyone always says, "Start preparing for college early!" and AGHH!
My Anxiety Disorder makes me worry a ton, and even though I take medicine for it, I still worry and stress about everything.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"
Matthew 6:25-27
God gave me Anxiety Disorder, so I can't help but worry, but I try my hardest to work everything out.
I know worrying isn't a sin, but sometimes I wonder, why does God give us things that make us sin? Like, with OCD, you feel the need to do things that could be sometimes be sins. My OCD used to want me to try to breathe underwater, or lick knives. But, I also can get tempted to say mean things to people. Things that I don't actually think about them. Even though that doesn't happen a lot, sometimes OCD will make me think sinful thoughts.
But, maybe that's not God who gave me those things.
We were all born with sin.
It's hurdles the devil has thrown at me, and God wants me to be a track star.
All I know for sure is that God will always love me, and if I meaningfully ask him to forgive my sins, he will.
Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
There's a different version to that song my friend made up...
Justin loves me, this I know, for his music tells me so.
I think that's pretty clever.
I'm trying not to stress too much. I need to relax. Tomorrow is going to go fine.
New School. New Atmosphere. New People. New Teachers. New Classes.
I don't do "new".
Dear Lord, help me.
Thanks for reading! I'll make sure to tell you about the first day of school tomorrow, if I don't have a heap of homework.(:
Emma<3
I start high school tomorrow.
I know, I know. Amazing, right? Hold your applause.
But, I'm really stressed about it. There are around 4 to 5 different buildings, and I have to walk from building to building each day and it's confusing. The upperclassmen told me that my teachers are ... interesting, and that I only have one good one.
I really want to sign up for Photography Club and Drama Club, so I'm excited about that. I looked around on the high school website for dates for auditions and everything, but I didn't know if they were based on the past year or this year, so I e-mailed the drama teacher.
My mom said that it's hard the first day, but then it's just like transitioning to elementary school or middle school.
My response was that this school has a bigger campus with more buildings to get lost in, and there's more work and it's harder, and AGHH!
Looking at everything, all in all, there isn't an extreme amount to be worried about. It's not like college, where you have an even larger campus, and have to live on your own, and worry about a job, and AGHH!
But, in high school you have to worry about college, and then getting a job, and everyone always says, "Start preparing for college early!" and AGHH!
My Anxiety Disorder makes me worry a ton, and even though I take medicine for it, I still worry and stress about everything.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"
Matthew 6:25-27
God gave me Anxiety Disorder, so I can't help but worry, but I try my hardest to work everything out.
I know worrying isn't a sin, but sometimes I wonder, why does God give us things that make us sin? Like, with OCD, you feel the need to do things that could be sometimes be sins. My OCD used to want me to try to breathe underwater, or lick knives. But, I also can get tempted to say mean things to people. Things that I don't actually think about them. Even though that doesn't happen a lot, sometimes OCD will make me think sinful thoughts.
But, maybe that's not God who gave me those things.
We were all born with sin.
It's hurdles the devil has thrown at me, and God wants me to be a track star.
All I know for sure is that God will always love me, and if I meaningfully ask him to forgive my sins, he will.
Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
There's a different version to that song my friend made up...
Justin loves me, this I know, for his music tells me so.
I think that's pretty clever.
I'm trying not to stress too much. I need to relax. Tomorrow is going to go fine.
New School. New Atmosphere. New People. New Teachers. New Classes.
I don't do "new".
Dear Lord, help me.
Thanks for reading! I'll make sure to tell you about the first day of school tomorrow, if I don't have a heap of homework.(:
Emma<3
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Rawr!
Hey Yinz,
So, yesterday I went to Cougar Camp. Yes, I know how that sounds... but it's not a camp to learn how to score younger men. It's my highschool camp! Our mascot is a cougar. No, I don't mean Missy G... but the animal. It wasn't really an orientation. Different people go at different days and times according to their last names, so I was with Samantha Patrick at the time we went, which was 12:15pm. Then, it turns out they break you into even smaller groups, and we got separated. But a little before it started, we talked talked to *Maria (*Name changed!).
So, while talking to "Maria", I bent down, which is one of my tics. It kind of looks like I'm ducking. That, or as many people say, I'm "dropping it like it's hot". I kind of like that phrase better. Maria just gave me one of those huge smiles and said, "What was that?!"
I am so used to this, but it's still annoying. I'm always really nice about it though, and shake it off.
Alright Maria, it's not like I just popped my eyes out, then put them back in. I just squatted.
"Oh, I have Tourettes," I replied, unphased.
"Oh my gosh! You could so use that to your advantage!" she exclaimed.
Oh dear Lord in Heaven.
But Maria just continued, "You could really use that to your advantage! You could totally go around slapping people like 'Oh, sorry, Tourettes!' and never get in trouble!"
Now, why in Hell would I do that?
And she continued some more, "Like, you should so do that! You couldn't get in any trouble 'cause like you have Tourettes!"
She was even displaying the movements, showing me how I should slap people, and she was laughing, but she was the only one. Sam and I really didn't think it was funny.
So I responded, "Oh, well that's not really what Tourettes is."
"But still, you could totally use that to your advantage!" Maria grinned.
I know she didn't mean it in a negative way, like "Carl" or "Jack" had, but I was still unhappy with what she said.
When Maria went to talk to someone else, Sam and I just looked at eachother.
Sam told me, "Whoa. I would never say that to someone. I can't believe she just said that!"
I replied, "Welcome to my life. Everytime I go to a new school, this is what happens. People don't understand, and I get made fun of for it."
I understand that Maria was just clueless about it, but she should have recognized I was feeling uncomfortable, and stopped. My Tourettes is no excuse for slapping people in the hallways, because the tics don't just come automatically and happen all of a sudden. I would be a pretty messy eater if that was true... But, you get this feeling, and if you don't do the tic, the feeling gets worse. I can't really explain the feeling, but if you don't have TS, be glad. I know that a lot of people out there have worse problems, and I totally acknowledge that. I'm just saying TS is very unpleasant.
But if you really want to feel that feeling, overdose on dopamine. Badooomp Schhh!!
Yeah, that was a drum noise at the end...
And I am aware the joke is corny, because I'm pretty sure no person in their right mind wants Tourettes.
Dopamine is produced in the basil ganglia, which is in the middle of your brain, and overproduction of this chemical is one of the causes of Tourette Syndrome.
Oh yeah, that's right. Rising ninth grader knows her science! That's why I got placed in Honors.(;
Anyways, I shook it off and went throughout the day, only to find that apparently a lot of my teachers are terrible. In the former students' opinions, pretty much all of my teachers the upperclassmen either had no idea who they were, or the majority choice: they didn't like the teachers. At all.
Except for one. But, I have to wait until second semester to get her...
So, exciting stuff, touring some of the school, watching a cool video, and playing team building games like Huggy Bears. GREAT.
I had an okay time there, and I slept over at my friend Megan's house afterwards.
High School... Ready or not, here I come.
Now, to go watch some Syfy!(:
Thank you for reading.
Emma<3
So, yesterday I went to Cougar Camp. Yes, I know how that sounds... but it's not a camp to learn how to score younger men. It's my highschool camp! Our mascot is a cougar. No, I don't mean Missy G... but the animal. It wasn't really an orientation. Different people go at different days and times according to their last names, so I was with Samantha Patrick at the time we went, which was 12:15pm. Then, it turns out they break you into even smaller groups, and we got separated. But a little before it started, we talked talked to *Maria (*Name changed!).
So, while talking to "Maria", I bent down, which is one of my tics. It kind of looks like I'm ducking. That, or as many people say, I'm "dropping it like it's hot". I kind of like that phrase better. Maria just gave me one of those huge smiles and said, "What was that?!"
I am so used to this, but it's still annoying. I'm always really nice about it though, and shake it off.
Alright Maria, it's not like I just popped my eyes out, then put them back in. I just squatted.
"Oh, I have Tourettes," I replied, unphased.
"Oh my gosh! You could so use that to your advantage!" she exclaimed.
Oh dear Lord in Heaven.
But Maria just continued, "You could really use that to your advantage! You could totally go around slapping people like 'Oh, sorry, Tourettes!' and never get in trouble!"
Now, why in Hell would I do that?
And she continued some more, "Like, you should so do that! You couldn't get in any trouble 'cause like you have Tourettes!"
She was even displaying the movements, showing me how I should slap people, and she was laughing, but she was the only one. Sam and I really didn't think it was funny.
So I responded, "Oh, well that's not really what Tourettes is."
"But still, you could totally use that to your advantage!" Maria grinned.
I know she didn't mean it in a negative way, like "Carl" or "Jack" had, but I was still unhappy with what she said.
When Maria went to talk to someone else, Sam and I just looked at eachother.
Sam told me, "Whoa. I would never say that to someone. I can't believe she just said that!"
I replied, "Welcome to my life. Everytime I go to a new school, this is what happens. People don't understand, and I get made fun of for it."
I understand that Maria was just clueless about it, but she should have recognized I was feeling uncomfortable, and stopped. My Tourettes is no excuse for slapping people in the hallways, because the tics don't just come automatically and happen all of a sudden. I would be a pretty messy eater if that was true... But, you get this feeling, and if you don't do the tic, the feeling gets worse. I can't really explain the feeling, but if you don't have TS, be glad. I know that a lot of people out there have worse problems, and I totally acknowledge that. I'm just saying TS is very unpleasant.
But if you really want to feel that feeling, overdose on dopamine. Badooomp Schhh!!
Yeah, that was a drum noise at the end...
And I am aware the joke is corny, because I'm pretty sure no person in their right mind wants Tourettes.
Dopamine is produced in the basil ganglia, which is in the middle of your brain, and overproduction of this chemical is one of the causes of Tourette Syndrome.
Oh yeah, that's right. Rising ninth grader knows her science! That's why I got placed in Honors.(;
Anyways, I shook it off and went throughout the day, only to find that apparently a lot of my teachers are terrible. In the former students' opinions, pretty much all of my teachers the upperclassmen either had no idea who they were, or the majority choice: they didn't like the teachers. At all.
Except for one. But, I have to wait until second semester to get her...
So, exciting stuff, touring some of the school, watching a cool video, and playing team building games like Huggy Bears. GREAT.
I had an okay time there, and I slept over at my friend Megan's house afterwards.
High School... Ready or not, here I come.
Now, to go watch some Syfy!(:
Thank you for reading.
Emma<3
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